


Green with Envy

by giirlswhocrii



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps Shenanigans, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Humor, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28438218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giirlswhocrii/pseuds/giirlswhocrii
Summary: ‘They seem to get along perfectly.’Levi turned back around and cringed at his glass, ‘Damn it’, Levi cursed.Levi was jealous.Not that he’d ever let anybody know that.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 157
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

Levi took a good, long look in the full length mirror. He donned his trademark outfit he always wore when going to events like this; a silk black dress shirt with the two top gold buttons undone with nice black slacks he cuffed at the bottom. He ran his fingers through his hair and thought the same statement he always did when he wore this, ‘ _ good enough’. _

With a sigh, Levi turned lazily towards the clock by the bed, it reads 7:14.  _ ‘Why am I not surprised’,  _ Levi inwardly grumbled.

Levi whipped around toward the bedroom’s bathroom and called out, “Hey Brat! We’re late, the party started at 7 and we still have to make the drive.”

“I’m almost done,” Eren replied, you could hear the smile in his voice.

Levi grumbled, “You were supposed to be ‘almost done’ a half an hour ago.”

“I would have been if somebody had reminded me of the time sooner,” Eren pouted.

Levi rolled his eyes, Eren’s being bratty again. “It’s  **your** friend’s birthday party, I shouldn’t have to remind you. I’m your boyfriend, not your dad.”

“That doesn’t stop you from scolding me like you’re my dad.” Levi’s glad Eren wasn’t in the room to see the little smile Levi made, it would make it seem like he lost his edge. 

Just as Levi was about to retort, Eren finally stepped out of the bathroom. “So, how do I look?” Eren beamed.

Unlike Levi, Eren always changed what he wore to events. He didn’t have a 

trademark look, because Eren chose his outfits depending on his mood, which is a wide range. Tonight, he wore a milky lavender silk shirt with beige slacks to match.  _ ‘I brought him that shirt,’  _ Levi thought proudly. The lavender completely complemented and intensified the grayish blue color of his eyes. Levi felt a slight possessiveness and satisfaction in the fact that Eren was wearing something he specifically picked out for him, but Levi wasn’t going to let Eren know that.

Levi settled for a snide remark, “Like a million bucks,” Levi allowed a small smile to be visible.

Eren laughed, “Don’t be a smartass.” 

Eren strolled over to Levi and looped his hands around Levi’s neck to pull him into a small, sweet kiss. In response, Levi placed his hands on Eren’s hips to pull him closer. Levi returned the kiss, but slightly deeper than Eren initiated.

Eren smiled and pulled away from the kiss, “We should get going.”

Levi smugly smiles, “You don’t say.”

Eren laughs again, Levi thinks he’s contagious because his smile grows a little (very little) bit wider. 

Still holding Eren, Levi says, “By the way, I thought you hated Jean. You certainly look happy to go to his birthday party.”

Eren dramatically rolled his eyes, “I do hate that horse-faced bastard, but Marco planned it and asked me nicely so I’ll tolerate him for his sake. Plus, the whole group is going to be there.”

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting.”

Levi and Eren finally let go of each other and departed for the party.

-

It was 8:03 when they finally strolled through the door hand in hand.  _ ‘Fashionably late’  _ Levi thought.

Marco had rented out an entire bar for Jean’s 25th birthday. Apparently it was a big deal, because Marco, being the perfect leader and boyfriend he was, had planned this almost a year in advance as well as sending multiple save-the-date invitations and RSVP’s to all of Jean’s closest friends. Everything down to the venue to the catering was perfect. All of Jean’s friends were sure that if Jean didn’t get his head out of his ass soon, Marco was going to propose to Jean first before he would have the opportunity too. They even had a betting pool on it. 

Marco immediately noticed them when they walked in, calling out, “Eren! Levi! Finally!”

Marco immediately walked over to them with a huge grin on his face. Marco pulled Eren into a big hug, “I was worried you guys got lost or something.”

“Only in the bathroom.” Levi joked, through if you didn’t know him you might take it literally since Levi’s face gave no indication that he made a joke. Marco laughed regardless.

Jean strolling up behind Marco, placed his arm on Marco’s shoulder, and said “Look who’s finally here. You brought me a present, Jaeger?” with a smile that could only be described as shit-eating. 

“Yeah, I do. It’s a walker and a cane, thought you might need it since you're getting so old, Kirstein.” Eren gave the same smile back.

Levi smiled to himself,  _ ‘I wonder how long this is going to take, knowing them they’ll be going back and forth all night.’ _

“Ah, that’s a good one, Jaeger. I’ll have to keep that in mind for when your birthday comes along. I might throw in some adult diapers too, since you’re always so pissy.”

Just as Eren opened his mouth to retort, Marco innocently grabbed Jean’s hand from his shoulder and intertwined their fingers together. “Alright, you guys have all night to bicker with each other. But if you don’t stop now, I’m afraid Sasha and Connie aren’t going to leave any food for you guys.”

Marco pointed to a table in the back with a sympathetic look. Sasha had about ten overflowing plates in front of her and was shoving food in her mouth from every one. Connie seemed to try and match her speed but was failing miserably. Sasha ate at such an alarming rate. A stranger would have been worried for her safety because she didn’t seem like she was breathing in between bites. Marco and everyone else knew better. 

Eren chuckled softly, “Yeah, we better get over there.”

Levi looked at the scene, and then the whole bar. A lot of faces stood out. Ymir was sitting on a couch, one arm wrapped around Christa and the other feeding her. Bertholdt’s face was bright red, clutching a beer, attempting to talk to Annie as she looked just about as bored and uninterested as a corpse. And Mikasa was softly talking with Armin by the bar, most likely in an attempt to escape the noise. There were other people of course but Levi didn’t recognize them. Levi only recognizes these eight because they’re Eren’s closest friends. 

If it weren’t for Eren’s sake, Levi would have never interacted with them to begin with, in fact, majority of the group he would have blatantly avoided. Levi likes Armin and Marco, he can’t say the same about the rest. Connie, Sasha, Jean, and Ymir are loud. Levi can’t get a read on Christa and Bertholdt like he can with other people, he almost feels they're hiding something. And Mikasa and Annie are both intense and unsettling, though Levi really can’t fault them for that. People think he’s intense and unsettling, it wasn’t until Levi met them until he fully comprehended why that was such a bother to some people. 

While Levi doesn’t particularly like them, he tolerates them for Eren, being they’re his closest friends since they all went to the same college. The feeling is mutual, they also tolerate Levi for Eren’s sake. At first, they all disapproved of Levi. He was older, a lot older. So when Eren told them about Levi and expressed how serious their relationship was, they were worried. 

-flashback-

“It’s not that bad. I’m 22 years old, a consenting adult.” Eren explained.

“And he’s 35, that’s a 13 year difference, Eren.” Armin sympathetically added.

Connie looked up from his Nintendo, “Dude, if he’s your sugar daddy, just say it. We won’t judge you.”

Sasha perked up, “What about sugar?”

“As if anyone would pay to look at Jaeger's ugly mug.” Jean started to laugh until Eren launched a pillow at his head. 

“Where did you even meet this guy, Eren?” Ymir lazily asked as she combed through Christa’s hair while she played on her phone.

Eren took a deep breath, preparing his thoughts for this story, “Remember I used to work part time at the law school library.” They all nodded.

“Well, sometimes the law students don’t put the books back so I have to pick them up and place them on the right shelves. So, one day while he was in the library I accidentally dropped a whole stack of books I was carrying. I had fell in front of him, and he was staring at me. I thought he was going to help me up until he said ‘Clumsy brat’”, Eren made sure to do his best Levi impression, “under his breath and walked out the library.”

“But after that day, every time I worked and had to carry something, he would come up behind me and grab it. I’ll be honest, he did look pretty annoyed every time he did it,” Eren laughed, “And one day, he just straight up asked me out.” Eren punctuated his story with a blushing smile, no one in the group returned the smile.

“I think I missed the romantic Prince Charming you described.” Annie's face didn’t express any emotion other than plain indifference.

Eren whipped his head to face her, “At least, I have a story to share. What about you, Annie? Has anything romantic ever happened to you other than Bertholdt staring at you all the time?”

“Eren! I don’t do that. Annie, I don’t stare.” Bertholdt said in an attempt to nervously defend himself. Annie shrugged.

Marco being a voice of reason, “Eren, as long as he’s nice and makes you happy we have no problem with it. We just didn’t expect him to be that much older than you, but we accept it regardless.”

Eren nodded at Marco’s kind words.

“Yeah, Eren. We’re just worried. What if he takes advantage of you being so young.” Mikasa added. Marco sighed, because he knew that what Mikasa just said would just make Eren even more defensive than he originally was.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to worry about me, Mikasa. I’m 22 years old. I know what is and isn’t good for me. I don’t need you holding my hand all the time.”

-end of flashback-

The feeling is definitely mutual, both parties tolerate each other. However, in the three years Eren and Levi have been dating, things have gotten better between them. Levi will admit that they managed to get some laughs and soft looks out of Levi, and they managed to not get so offended all the time by Levi’s snide comments.

“Levi, you ready?” Eren peered down at Levi as he gripped his hand a little tighter. Jean and Marco already walked off.

Shaking his head out of a daze, Levi answered, “Yeah, brat.”

Eren and Levi, hand in hand, started to walk to their assigned table. Until an unfamiliar voice called out to them from behind.

“Eren!”

_ ‘Who is that?’,  _ Levi thought. He didn’t recognize that voice at all and besides all of Eren’s close friends were already inside, so who the hell was yelling at his boyfriend at such a tight knit party. 

Eren and Levi turned over their shoulders at the same time. But as soon as Eren laid eyes on this mystery person his face lit up like a skyscraper. Eren whipped around and released Levi’s hand so fast, Levi barely processed it until he saw Eren run towards the person to close the distance. 

“Reiner!” Eren leapt towards this blond, stocky mystery person, Reiner, and for a brief second Levi tenses up preparing to grab Eren before he reaches the floor. Levi only makes one step to grab Eren, but before Levi can reach him thick arms snake their way around Eren’s waist as Reiner picks Eren up and starts to spin. Levi’s breath gets caught in his throat and feels like someone is gripping his heart.

Despite the sudden dull ringing in Levi’s ears and Eren’s uncontrollable laughter as he’s being spun around, he hears Eren breathlessly say, “Reiner! I missed you so much! I can’t believe this!”

After what feels like an eternity for Levi, Reiner finally sets Eren down on his feet. Both of their faces are blushed and their hair windblown. Levi takes this time to walk up and stand besides Eren in front of Reiner.

_ ‘Reiner’,  _ Levi definitely didn’t recognize that name. Levi didn’t know all of Eren’s friends, just his closest ones, so it’s not strange that he doesn’t know who this Reiner is. What is strange is the fact that Eren feels comfortable enough to leap in this person's arms, and Levi doesn’t know who he is. Hell, Eren barely hugged his own sister, Mikasa, so who the hell is Reiner and why are they so close?

Eren smiles ear to ear, looking up to gush at Reiner. “I can’t believe this! I haven’t seen you in forever! Where have you been?”

Reiner bashfully scratches the back of his head, “Aw, C’mon. We talked on Facebook not too long ago.”

_ ‘What? _ ’ Levi can barely process what he just heard because Eren is talking again.

“Yeah, barely! That was nothing.”

“Sorry, I’ve just been off the grid lately. Traveling, all that.”

Levi looks back and forth between Eren and Reiner. Eren practically bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet talking to Reiner. And Reiner’s smile hasn’t left his face once since talking to Eren. 

Levi realizes Eren hasn’t introduced him yet. When Levi first met his other friends, Eren wouldn’t let anyone get a word in before Levi was introduced, he had introduced Levi so quickly and so forcefully it was like he was a bomb. But now, Levi had been standing next to him for longer than 10 seconds and Eren hadn't introduced him yet, or so much as looked in Levi’s direction. Levi’s eyes narrowed expectantly at Eren, but he and Reiner seemed to be in their own little world. 

Swallowing his pride, Levi cleared his throat loud enough for Eren to hear it. Whether Eren heard it and ignored him or didn’t hear it at all, Levi doesn’t know because Eren and Reiner continued chatting without falter. 

Levi tightened his jaw, as a new feeling took over him. Never in his life had Levi felt  _ excluded _ . Make no mistake, Levi always rathered his own company compared to the company of others. So being  _ not included _ in things, never bothered him. Hell, he much rather to never be included in things, especially in social interactions. But for some odd reason, Levi wanted to be  _ included _ , included in whatever Eren and Reiner were talking about. So for the first time, he felt  _ excluded _ .

Now Eren’s other friends, despite simply tolerating him, always included Levi. He was included in their plans, conservations, almost everything, despite them all knowing that Levi wouldn’t make it an easier decision for them. Even after a certain situation that left Sasha crying at one of Levi’s comments, they never stopped making the effort to include Levi in every conversation they had in his vicinity. Levi doesn’t even realize that he slightly appreciates it.

So Levi was slightly confused at this new feeling and confused by Eren’s behavior. Eren was the affectionate one out of the two. Now suddenly Reiner appears and Eren’s acting distant. Levi’s head buzzed with questions.

If Eren wasn’t going to introduce him, then Levi will just wait for an opening to introduce himself.

“-Yeah, Marco told me about it a while back. I wasn’t gonna miss it for the world.”

Eren beams, “Leave it to Marco to finally drag your ass back to the States.”

“But if I had known you guys were gonna dress up I would have changed before I left my hotel. You look good, I like that shirt.”

_ ‘There.’  _ Just as Eren was going to respond to the praise, Levi wraps one arm around Eren’s waist and pulls his body close, “Yeah, I actually bought it for him.”

Reiner narrows his eyes in confusion and Eren’s eyes widen at the sudden contact. 

Levi decides to give Eren one more chance, “Who’s your friend, Eren?” Levi took care to lower his voice to match the tone he usually saves for when they're alone in the bedroom. 

It’s effective, because Eren looks him in the eye blushes brightly before turning back to Reiner.

Eren, realizing his mistake, rushes to talk, “Reiner, this is Levi. He’s my...boyfriend! Levi, this is Reiner. We went to the same college.”

Levi nods at Reiner, he tries to be friendly about it but in the back of his mind he’s wondering why Eren paused before saying boyfriend. In the end, Levi’s nod probably ends up looking like a grimace.

“Oh, Levi. Eren told me about you.” Reiner nods and smiles better than Levi could.

_ ‘Oh, really? Eren hasn’t told me jack shit about you.’ _

Just as Levi is about to say something along those lines, another outburst comes.

“Holy shit, Reiner? It is Reiner!” Levi turns to see Connie running towards them, waving widely. It doesn’t take long for the rest to start crowding them.

Christa, despite their size difference, squeezes Reiner into a hug, “Reiner, we haven’t seen you in forever!” she chirps. 

Reiner laughs, “I’m here, now.”

“Hey, don’t get too handsy with my Christa.” Ymir says, feigning distrust.

Reiner brushes off her bluff, and grabs her to join the hug, “Ah, don’t worry Ymir. There’s plenty of room for you too.”

Over Ymir’s protests, Connie whines, “Hey, what about me?”

“Me too!” Sasha exclaims.

Letting go of Ymir and Christa, Reiner grabs Sasha and Connie and has them under each arm, “How can I forget you too knuckleheads! Sasha, there better be some food left, I’m starving!” 

“Hey, Reiner.” Annie sighed, with Bertholdt closely behind her.

Still holding laughing Connie and Sasha, “Annie! I see you still got that resting bitch face! Bertholdt, my man! Tell me you’ve finally done it already,” Reiner’s eyes motion to Annie knowingly.

Bertholdt bashfully tugs on his hair, “Ah, still working on it.” 

Reiner dramatically rolls his eyes then laughs, “I knew I would have to come back and kick your ass.”

Reiner finally let’s go of Sasha and Connie, then asks, “Where’s the genius?” 

Armin blushes slightly, “Well, I wouldn’t call myself a genius.”

Reiner pulls Armin forcefully into a hug, “You answered, didn’t ya? And you are a genius, only a genius can manage to keep these knuckleheads alive or out of prison.”

“Lucky, you’ve finally come back. If you had stayed away any longer, I was going to find you wherever you were and kick your ass.” Mikasa joked, she didn’t smile while saying it but she did soften her gaze. 

“Ah, don’t scare me like that, Mikasa.” Reiner said as he let go of Armin to hug Mikasa.

“It’s my birthday, aren’t I supposed to get the first hugs!” Jean walks up to the group huddling by the door. 

Reiner lets go of Mikasa to face Jean, “Don’t worry, I saved the best one for you.” 

Reiner rushes Jean, and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. Jean whimpers and struggles to breathe for a second.

Laughing, Marco taps Reiner on the shoulder, “Let him go now, Reiner. I want my boyfriend to be alive to enjoy this party I planned.”

Reiner chuckles and lets Jean loose, Jean feinting (not really) hurt wheezes, “Geez, Reiner. Lay off the weights.”

Reiner turns to hug Marco, softly and sweetly, “Thank you for inviting me, Marco.”

“Of course, Reiner.” Marco says into Reiner’s shoulder. 

Levi watches the whole scene closely. He’s never heard of Reiner before tonight, but Eren and all his friends greet him warmly as if he’s always been a part of the group, picking up where they left off. Levi can’t wrap his head around it. To make matters worse, while Levi watches them all interact with each other with confusion and annoyance, Eren hasn’t stopped staring at Reiner with that cheeky grin on his face. Levi frowns, not that Eren or anyone else would notice, and thinks  _ ‘what about Reiner is making Eren so happy?’ _

Marco let’s go first and turns to everyone, “Alright, guys. We should probably get away from the door now.”

“Right!” Christa grabs Reiner’s wrist, “Reiner, sit next to me!” 

Ymir sputters, “C-Christa!”, until Christa grabs Ymir’s hand with her free hand.

“You can sit on my other side, dummy”

“Wait, no fair! I wanted to sit next to Reiner and show him how much I can eat now.”

“It’s my birthday! Reiner is sitting next to me!”

The group of friends started to walk back to the tables, every one of them grabbing some piece of Reiner while advocating why he should sit next to them. Reiner just laughed. 

Eren, elated, started to follow the group, but Levi still had his arm across Eren’s waist, and something told Levi to hold Eren back. So he did. As Eren started to leave, Levi clutched onto Eren’s waist, stopping him from going.

_ ‘Finally, he’s out of Reiner’s spell.’  _ Levi thought as Eren whipped his head to face him, looking disappointed and pleading.

“Levi, what is it?” 

“What, you’re gonna fight over Reiner, too? You his little fanboy or something?” Levi didn’t even try to soften the edge of his voice like he usually does with Eren. 

“What are you -” Eren started until Levi interrupted him.

“I saw how you look at him, I’m surprised you didn’t start drooling on yourself.” Levi narrowed his eyes and gripped on Eren a little more.

Eren started to squirm and backup from Levi the best he could while in his grasp. 

Eren furrowed his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes, Eren’s eyes went from a calming blue to a piercing grey. “Levi, you’re making a scene.” 

Levi was shocked. Eren only got serious like that if he was annoyed or mad, Levi had only seen it a couple times before this. Levi didn’t like it. And he didn’t like how Eren made that face in response to what Levi said about Reiner. 

Just as Levi was going to respond with something snarky, he was interrupted.

“Eren! Get over here!” Armin was laughing and calling out to Eren to join everyone at the table.

Levi bit back what he was going to say,  _ ‘probably better that I didn’t say that’.  _ And let go of Eren. 

“Forget it. Go join your friends.” Levi turned sharply towards the bar, making a conscious effort not to see if Eren watched him leave and ignore the fact that Eren’s friends failed to include him this time nor did they say hi.

-

Levi depressingly swirled his glass in his hands, thick, brown liquid curling around the ice. It was his first and only drink of the night. Levi would have no problem downing at least 4 of these, but tonight he was a designated driver. Everytime, without fail, Eren and Jean got together with alcohol they always ended up in some drinking competition, constantly matching each other in drinks. And since both are stupidly stubborn, they almost always got blackout drunk. 

Levi turned to look at his boyfriend draped over Jean’s shoulder laughing at some joke the birthday boy made.

“Jean! You’re my best friend, you fucking know that!”

“I better fucking be!” Jean laughed.

Jean and Eren only get along, and only call each other by their first names, when they’re insanely drunk.

“Smile for the camera you too!” Christa chooed as she held her cell phone camera up.

Jean and Eren obeyed, hugging each other and grinning widely. Christa laughed as she snapped several pictures of them. She’ll definitely use those to tease them later. 

Levi smiled a little, allowing himself a little satisfaction even though he didn’t deserve it. He did feel bad about what happened earlier.  _ ‘That was stupid.’  _ Levi thinks. 

When Levi makes his smug comments to others, it leaves his mouth as unfiltered as he thought it. But with Eren, he’s usually more careful. As much as Levi teases and scolds Eren, he cares about his feelings and never wants to purposely upset him. So even when Eren gets bratty or unreasonable like he sometimes does, Levi fillers his comments and bites his tongue until he has something else to say. 

But what he said to Eren tonight was more than unfiltered. It was rawer, almost like an intrusive thought. And Levi is sure that if he had said what he was going to say before Armin stopped him, Eren would have given him more than a look.

Christa was still taking pictures of Jean and Eren, when Reiner said, “Hey, what about me?”, as he placed bunny ears behind Eren’s head and smiled for the camera.

The sudden appearance of Reiner in Levi’s line of sight, made him turn his head sharply in disgust. Levi couldn’t explain what about Reiner irked him, but something did. And for some reason, Reiner seemed to only irk him.

From the moment Reiner walked in, all the friends, Eren included, could not seem to leave him alone or really want to share him either. Every couple of minutes Levi would hear a different voice call for Reiner’s attention.

Levi remembers the hug between Eren and Reiner, and he clutches his glass harder. The memory leaves a bad taste in his mouth.  _ ‘Has Eren ever hugged me like that?’  _ Levi is sure that he has, but for some reason can’t place it while Eren and Reiner’s hug runs through his mind on constant replay. 

That’s not the only hug he keeps replaying. It’s also Mikasa and Reiner’s that bothers him. 

When Levi first met Mikasa, he tried to be less sharp with her compared to Eren’s other friends. After all, Mikasa is his sister. But it became quickly apparent that it didn’t matter what Levi did, she already decided she doesn’t like him. So he stopped trying to impress her. 

While things got better and more cordial between them over three years, Levi knew Mikasa still didn’t like him. She never spoke to Levi directly, happy to speak around him despite Marco telling her numerous times that’s rude (Mikasa hears what she wants to hear), and when she did speak it was short and prompt as if their relationship was Captain and Cadet instead of brother’s boyfriend and sister of boyfriend. 

So the fact Mikasa, not only, hugged Reiner, but also initiated the hug, slightly angered Levi. What did she like about Reiner?  _ ‘What does he have that I don’t.’ _

Levi didn’t turn but he could hear all of their laughter filling up the atmosphere, Reiner’s laugh booming over everyone else’s. 

Reiner was sociable. He was caring, sweet, and friendly, almost like the big brother everybody wants. He looked honest.

Levi was the exact opposite. Levi was cold, distant, and very irritable, Levi had the personality of a hardened veteran or a gang leader. And it didn’t matter what Levi was wearing or how he was feeling, people still were scared to approach or talk to him, afraid he might lash out like a hungry lion circling its prey. 

As the laughter of the friends filled his ears, the new feeling of insecurity swelled inside Levi. Levi wondered if they’d be more comfortable around him if he acted like Reiner. They wouldn’t just tolerate him, they wouldn’t have to begrudgingly ask him to accompany them. They would just like him. They’d run up and greet him with open arms and happy smiles.

And as Levi singled out Eren’s laughter from the uproar, he wondered if Eren would be happier if he acted like Reiner.

Levi and Eren didn’t have any more problems than any other average couple, but they did have problems. Problems that could be solved if Levi was just a little more like Mr. Sunshine. Eren wouldn’t have to coax Levi into expressing his feelings, or decipher what he was saying behind the snide comments and remarks, or defend him against his friends. 

Sometimes Levi’s and Eren’s personalities completely complemented each other’s, like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. And sometimes their personalities didn’t mesh together at all, like oil and water.

Levi snuck a glance at the table of friends. Reiner was telling Eren something Levi couldn’t hear, and Eren was slightly leaned in towards Reiner, listening intently. Levi suppressed the urge to walk over there and pull Eren away. 

_ ‘They seem to get along perfectly.’  _

Levi turned back around and cringed at his glass,  _ ‘Damn it’,  _ Levi cursed.

Levi was jealous. 

Not that he’d ever let anybody know that.

-

Levi continued to mull and brood over his drink until someone broke him out of his musings. “Levi?”

Levi, still in a daze, barely registered the voice so nothing prepared him for turning around and seeing Reiner behind him. 

Levi looked scornfully at Reiner,  _ ‘What does this bastard want?’,  _ “What?” his voice laced with venom.

“You’re taking Eren home right?” Reiner pointed towards the table. Eren lazily played in Mikasa’s hair, his head bobbing up and down with fluttering eyes as he attempted to braid. He’s beyond drunk.

Levi mentally cursed himself at the fact that he wasn’t watching Eren as closely as he should have. Levi would have stopped Eren a couple of drinks ago if he was paying attention, and because he wasn’t Reiner had to tell him. Levi’s chest burned a little in shame.

If it had been any of Eren’s other friends, Levi would have stifled a thank you, but since it was Reiner he had a sarcastic comment for him instead, “No, I just go to our home alone and leave my drunk boyfriend to fend for himself.” 

That didn’t phase Reiner because he simply laughed and said, “Ha, good one. My bad. Eren said you were funny. I’ll have to stay on my toes around you.”

_ ‘I’m not trying to be funny, I’m trying to be an asshole.’  _ Levi inwardly grumbled.

Levi decided he was done talking to Reiner, he briskly stood up and walked towards Eren until Reiner grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

Levi tensed, not because he was scared but because it took every muscle in his body to refrain from grabbing Reiner’s arm and twisting it until it broke.

“What?” This time Levi said it with much more fervor than he had previously.

Reiner smiled, “It was nice to finally meet you, Levi. Eren really likes you. You’re a lucky guy.”

_ ‘Don’t make a scene. Don’t make a scene.’  _ Levi tugged his shoulder back, releasing it from Reiner’s grasp. 

“Yeah, I know.” was all Levi could say without insulting or cursing him out.

Levi briskly walked towards Eren, inwardly counting in his head to calm himself down.

Once at the table, Levi stood in front of Eren. “Time to go home, Eren.”

Eren looked up and pulled Levi down in a hug, “Levi, I miss you!” Eren said gleefully, but barely coherent since he was slurring so much. 

Levi gently patted his back, choosing to ignore the rising heat in his cheeks, and sighed, “C’mon, let go so we can do home.” 

Eren always became clingy and affectionate when he was drunk, which is why Levi never minded being his designated driver. 

Eren loosen his grip around Levi’s neck but was still holding him, “Carry me?” Eren’s eyes were back to the grayish blue, pleading like a newborn puppy.

Levi sighed peacefully and slowly picked up Eren bridal style. “You better not throw up on me, Brat.” There was no malice in his voice. 

Eren hummed slowly in response and rested his head on Levi’s chest.

“I want someone to carry me,” Connie pouted, slurring his words worse than Eren.

“Sounds like a personal problem, Springer.” Levi responded. It wasn’t meant to be a joke, but Connie laughed regardless. Levi’s chest felt a little lighter. 

Levi slowly carried Eren to the door, as Eren mumbled and slurred goodbyes to everyone.

They were in a straight path towards the door, but in a fit of possessiveness, Levi decided to carry Eren in a roundabout way, right in front of Reiner.

As they passed Reiner, Levi made sure to clutch Eren tighter and press him against his chest more.

Levi did feel slightly ashamed at this childish display, but that didn’t stop Levi giving Reiner the smuggest smile as he walked by with his boyfriend.

-

The car ride home allowed Levi to reflect. Thinking back on the incident, Levi’s stomach twisted in embarrassment.  _ ‘What was I thinking?’  _

Levi tried to rationalize his actions,  _ ‘I was tired’, ‘I was moody’, ‘I was hungry’,  _ but none of these excuses stuck. The fact of the matter is, Levi doesn’t know why he acted the way he did.

As he carried Eren, who was half asleep, into their home, he wondered if Eren would remember what happened. Levi was half hoping he did forget so he wouldn’t have to apologize, but Levi knew he’d feel even more guilty if he did that.

As Levi laid Eren down on their bed, he resolved he would apologize when Eren woke up the next morning. 

Levi slowly helped Eren take off his shirt and slacks, leaving just his boxers to act as his pajamas. “You need anything, brat?” Levi asked.

Eren fluttered his eyes open and turned on his side, propping one elbow up, to face Levi completely. “Yeah, come here.”

Confused, Levi leaned down towards Eren. Eren sloppily grabbed his chin and guided Levi’s lips to his. Levi propped his arm on the bed to steady himself. The kiss was hot, wet, and tasted of booze. Levi allowed himself to enjoy the kiss for a little longer than he should have, until finally pulling away from Eren.

“Goodnight, Eren.” Levi breathed sultry. 

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed in a pout, but obeyed. Eren let go of Levi’s face and sunk into the mattress.

That’s when Levi saw it. Black, scribbled writing trailing up Eren’s arm. 

Levi, confused, asked, “Eren, what’s that on your arm.”

Eren lifted his arm up to his face so he could see, then his face broke out into a small smile, “Oh, This is Reiner’s new number. He told me to text him when I got home. Can you hand me my phone?”

Levi’s jaw tightened and his fists clenched. Levi stared angrily at the marking Reiner made. Right now, Levi wants nothing more than to scrub it off until Eren’s skin was raw.

Although he didn’t want to, Levi handed Eren his phone and quickly left to go to the bathroom to change. Levi avoided every mirror in the process, seeing his reflection would cement and intensify the annoyance he felt.

When he was done, Levi walked out of the bathroom and strode towards the bed. Eren wasn’t turned towards the middle of the bed, his back towards Levi’s side.

Normally, Levi would be perplexed by this but in this instance he was glad. He didn’t want to look at Eren right now.

Levi entered the bed and turned his back towards Eren’s side. He tried to ignore the dim light Eren’s phone made in the dark room, and the incessant keyboard clicks as Eren typed. Levi bit his tongue and stifled his anger so he wouldn’t say something he would regret.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Tags.

With coffee in hand, Levi looked down at his reflection in the dark liquid, his eye bags carried twice as much darkness and puffiness than they usually did. 

Levi inwardly groaned as he sat his coffee down on the table. His head was burning, his eyes were dry, and his body ached. He hadn’t slept much last night. 

During the night, Levi’s body yearned to turn over on his usual side, face to face with Eren, but Levi denied himself that satisfaction. Eren had already gone to sleep at that point, but that didn’t calm the growing annoyance Levi felt in the pit of his stomach. 

_ ‘If all he had to do was punch in that bastard’s number and text him, why was he typing away on his phone that long?’ _

Eren never used his phone before bed, hell, he rarely used his phone in general. Mikasa had scolded him numerous times how Eren never seemed to learn how to answer calls (specifically her calls). So for Eren to be texting in bed, Levi wondered what the fuck was he doing and what the fuck they were talking about that was so important.

_ ‘Really? Right in front of me?’ _ Levi inwardly grumbled as he sunk his head deeper in the pillow. He huffed, in an attempt for Eren to get the hint, but oblivious as always, the hint went over his head. Eren continued to type away as Levi seethed in silence, feeling very reminiscent of how he felt when Eren and Reiner had ignored him at the party.

Just as Levi was on his last strand of patience, Eren’s phone screen went black as he put it away and went to sleep.

_ ‘Fucking finally,’ _ Levi sighed, ready to embrace the softness of sleep until memories of the party began to plague his thoughts.

Reiner spinning Eren around, Eren leaning in to listen to Reiner, Reiner wickedly (as Levi remembers it) expressing how lucky he was; all replayed in his head. Levi’s jaw began to feel sore as his teeth grinded, Levi half hoped this dull pain would miraculously lull him to sleep. 

At his wit’s end, Levi huffed and resolved to visualize counting sheep (a childish method for falling asleep Hange once suggested) over the memories. 

At sheep number 47, Levi had calmed and began to fall asleep, until his arm started to itch and his eyes started to wander over to Eren’s side of the bed,  _ ‘It be so easy to just grab his phone right now.’ _

Levi inwardly debated this for a while. If he checked Eren’s phone, that would answer some of his questions. If he checked Eren’s phone, he’d be at peace and would be able to finally go to sleep.  _ ‘I could delete that bastard’s number while I’m at it.’ _

Just as Levi began to sit up to grab it, Eren stirred softly in his sleep. 

With a grumble, Levi resolved it would be too risky to attempt to grab Eren’s phone.

With a roll of the eyes, Levi sank back into the mattress and continued his count before the memories of Reiner came back. 

In the end, Levi barely slept. 

Levi raised his mug and drank deeply, warm coffee sliding down his throat, black and bitter. If he couldn’t force himself to sleep, he could certainly force himself to be awake. He didn’t bother making Eren a cup, flavored and sweetened coffee to hell, because he knew Eren wouldn’t be up until midday. He always slept in after he drank.

With the bitter taste, befitting his mood, of the coffee in his mouth, Levi wondered how could he question Eren without offending or insulting him; all thoughts of a possible apology for how Levi acted yesterday had vanished.

Levi wasn’t a fan of sugar coated speech, he always preferred people to say things directly and promptly instead of trying to soften the blow with sweet words.

Levi resolved that when the time was right, he would just simply, directly and promptly, ask ‘What were you and Reiner talking about last night?’. Because he  **knew** it was Reiner.

_ ‘I bet he planned this, fucking bastard,’ _ Reiner scribbled his shitty number on Eren’s arm, knowing Eren would spend all night talking to him and Levi couldn’t do a damn thing about it lest he look like a possessive asshole.

Which Levi wasn’t, in his perspective, he was just a concerned boyfriend. Yeah, all the actions had been purely platonic but something about Reiner screamed ulterior motives. 

Levi has always had good intuition, so why shouldn’t he trust it now? Levi’s intuition was telling him Reiner overstepped his boundaries, so Levi was acting accordingly.

Levi took another sip as the floors began to creek behind him, confused, Levi turned over his shoulder.

“Good morning, Levi.” Eren yawned as he shuffled towards Levi and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. 

Levi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched Eren make his way to the coffee maker. His eyes shifted to the nearest clock, 9:46, way to early for Eren to be up after drinking the night before.

“Did I wake you?” Levi asked knowing that was impossible, Eren slept like the dead.

“No, I set an alarm last night.” Eren answered before adding coffee to his sugar. 

“Why?”, Eren only set alarms for work and school, everything else he depended on his own perception of time and intuition. So why did Eren set an alarm for this morning? Eren was long out of school and he didn’t work today.

Eren hummed, “Since Reiner’s in town, we all wanted to hang out together some more so we decided to get brunch today.”

Levi’s glad that Eren’s back was turned as he transferred his coffee to a travel mug, Levi’s eyes widened.

_ ‘So that’s what they were talking about last night.’  _ Levi thought as he realized, Eren was dressed. He looked much more casual than he had the night before, wearing a loose long sleeve black shirt with dark wash denim jeans. Eren’s defined collarbone was exposed, Levi’s mouth watered looking at it but his heart squeezed at the thought that Eren was leaving the house like that.

Before Levi could respond, Eren continued to talk, “Marco, Ymir, and Connie have work tomorrow, and Armin and Christa work this afternoon so this morning was the only time we could all hang out with Reiner before he leaves again. We’ll probably get brunch and talk until Armin and Christa have to leave.”

Levi felt a pang of disrespect, who the hell does Reiner think he is monopolizing on Eren’s time? 

Eren and majority of his friends were spontaneous, something Levi definitely couldn’t relate to. However, everytime Eren finds himself spontaneously leaving, Levi had no problem with it, especially if he hadn’t planned anything from him and Eren to do anyway. He knew Eren would always come back home. 

But this time was different, he didn’t want Eren to go. Levi hadn’t expected, or mentally prepared himself, for Eren to go out today and he felt like he needed that. Breathing shallowly, Levi felt jaded and anxious. 

Levi scoffed in response, his next statement coming out completely unfiltered, “You didn’t ask me?”

After the words escaped his mouth and released in the air, Levi wished he could take them back. That’s not what he meant. Those words sounded more possessive and controlling than he intended. And Levi, in his opinion, was not possessive and controlling.

Eren turned slowly towards him, a face of genuine confusion coming into Levi’s vision, “Why would I need to ask you?” his voice dripped in suspicion.

Levi paled, he wanted to back track. Levi opened his mouth to respond until Eren’s phone started to shrilly ring.

Eren picked up his phone and his eyes brightened at the Caller ID as he promptly answered the phone.

Levi sat dumbfounded as he could only hear Eren’s side of the conversation, “Oh, really? Yeah, I’m ready. Okay, I’ll be out in a second.”

Eren hung up the phone with a relieved sigh, pocketed his phone, then grabbed his mug. 

Eren swiftly walked over to Levi and bent down to give him a forehead kiss, “It’s time for me to go. I’ll see you later.”

As Eren buzzed past him, Levi was frozen in his seat, thoughts bouncing throughout his head until he heard the front door open. 

“Wait, your car keys?” Levi didn’t hear them scrape the ceramic bowl they sat in or the jingle of the metal he as Eren grabbed them.

Halfway through the door, Eren looked back cheerfully, “Don’t need them. I’m riding with Reiner.”

Before Eren closed the door, Levi subconsciously craned his head to spy pass Eren towards the unfamiliar car that sat in their driveway. Levi only could look for a couple seconds before Eren promptly shut the door, leaving him in silence.

Levi didn’t move for several seconds, staring at the door as if Eren would pop back in and say it was a joke. He didn’t.

Eren came and left so fast, Levi couldn’t even fully process what happened, only that he was feeling upset and dejected.

-

Levi angrily scrubbed the dishes, soapy water sludging over his white knuckles as he held the sponge in a death grip. 

Levi had cleaned the whole kitchen top to bottom; mopped the floor, organized the freezer, cleaned the fridge, wiped the counters, dusted the cupboards. Every inch of the kitchen shined like crystal.

Levi had been obsessively cleaning for two hours now. If Eren was here he would have told him to stop now. But Eren wasn’t here. It’s 12:16 and Eren has not returned yet.

The ticking sound of the clock stabbed into Levi’s skull, Levi buckled down and scrubbed harder. 

_ ‘Shouldn’t brunch be over by now?’ ‘Where is he?’ ‘Should I call?’ _

In the corner of his eye, Levi saw the screen of the Amazon Echo Show light up indicating there was a call. 

Levi didn’t look at the name. He didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. Levi commanded the machine to decline the call.

That only allowed him a brief moment of solace, because whoever was on the other line called him back. Again, Levi commanded the machine to decline the call.

After the third incoming call, Levi whipped around to face the machine.  _ ‘Who the hell keeps calling me?’ _

With narrowed eyes, Levi started at the Caller ID. It read ‘Shitty Glasses’ with the background set as a blurry selfie with ecstatic Hange draped over an angry Levi.

With a huff, Levi commanded the machine to accept it.

Once Hange appeared on the screen she lit up and began talking as sudden as a bullet train, “Levi! It’s good to see! You never call me. Hey, why did you decline my calls? Are you busy? How are you? Where’s Eren?”

Levi only glared at Hange in response.

Levi didn’t know if he had scolded more deeper than he usually did, if he looked worse than he did usually looked, or if the silence he gave was more deafening than it usually was, but whatever  **it** was Hange gave Levi a knowing smile.

“I’ll see if Erwin can join the call, so we can all talk.”

-

Once Hange and Erwin got Levi talking, he couldn’t stop.

Nearing the end of Levi’s dramatized retelling of the events, he finished, “And then he just fucking left. He practically ran out the door to that bastard’s car! Why did he have to ride with him anyway? If it’s just a matter of going to brunch, Eren could have eaten with his friends and drove himself home but now he’s at the will of that blond gorilla to get him home. It was probably the fucker’s idea. And how long does brunch even take, he’s been gone for 3 hours now, did they have to hunt the food down themselves? Anyway, that’s want fucking happened, damn it.”

Elated, Levi huffed, exhaling and taking in the first full breath he’s had since he started talking to Erwin and Hange. 

Mystified, Hange hooted, “Oh wow. That’s… a lot.”

Erwin, taking over, with a sigh, “Why did you ask Eren about whether or not he asked you? And why did you try to hold him back from his friends yesterday?”

“Yeah, and why didn’t you want him to leave to go out this morning?” Hange added.

Levi groaned, it would be so much easier to explain everything to them if he understood it better himself. Levi was going through a lot of firsts.

Levi pinched his nose, “First of all, I didn’t mean what I said. Of course, I don’t expect Eren to ask me everytime he wants to go somewhere. It just came out wrong. I meant, ‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?’”

“Well Levi, if they made the plans the night previous, the only opportunity Eren had to tell you was before he left.” Erwin rationalized.

Choosing to be stubborn rather than listen to Erwin’s reasoning, he retorted, “Okay, fine. But don’t you think there’s a better way for him to tell me. He was basically on his way out when he did. Would it have killed him to sit down and explain it slowly? Eren acted like I was inconveniencing him by asking where he was going, as if I don’t have a right to know.” 

Hange hummed, “You’re grasping at straws, Levi.”

“Shut up, Four Eyes. No one asked you.”

Erwin looked at him quizzically, “Levi, I have to agree with Hange,” Hange nodded in response, “I also think you’re exaggerating what really happened.”

“Don’t gaslight me, Erwin. I know what the fuck happened.”

Hange, knowing better to pick your own battles, moved on, “Okay, well what about the other stuff?”

Levi sighed in an attempt to get his scattered thoughts together, “I don’t know. I don’t know why I didn’t want him to leave. I was just worried, okay! I’m his boyfriend, I have a right to be worried and skeptical that he’s acting strange now that some mystery person is in town.”

“I don’t think he’s acting strange though, Levi. He’s just excited to spend time with a friend he hasn’t seen in awhile.” Erwin reasoned.

  
  


Levi huffed, “If him and Reiner are such good friends, then why haven’t I heard jack shit about him? Eren babbles about his friends all the time and Reiner hasn’t come up once. He even told me about the time Sasha ended up in the hospital for a week because she refused to believe Jean and Connie telling her that the fruits in Hobby Lobby are purely decorative and ate them anyway. I know about one hundred stories about each of his friends, and not one about Reiner. And apparently Eren has told him quite a lot about me.”

Hange optimistically perks up, “Well, isn’t that a good thing?”

“No, it’s not, it makes it look worse. It makes it look like Eren is purposely hiding something from me.” Levi’s stomach twisted at the thought.

Erwin’s decided he has heard enough and deemed it time to rectify the situation, “Levi, I think it’s important for you to think rationally right now, and not jump to conclusions.”

Levi raised his eyebrow to signal Erwin to continue, “Based on what you’ve told us, Reiner and Eren haven't overstepped their relationship. Since it’s upsetting-”

Levi defensively interrupted, “I’m not upset.”  _ ‘I’m not upset. I’m not possessive. I’m not jealous.’ _

Erwin sighed, “Since it’s bothering you,” he corrected, “once Eren gets home you can ask him about Reiner, how long they’ve known each other and how they came to be friends, and then explain to him how you feel.”

Hange, as sweet as ever, added, “And give Eren the benefit of the doubt! Eren’s such a sweetheart, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt you or try to get a rise out of you.” 

Although he would never admit it to them, Levi knew Hange was right. Eren doesn’t have a spiteful bone in his bone. It simply wasn’t in him to do something like that, or at least not without reason. Levi’s heart fluttered a little.

Levi scoffed as he crossed his arms, “Fine.”

“But, be careful how you approach this. You need to stay calm and collected. Do not act on your emotions. And allow yourself to be vulnerable with Eren, he can’t read your mind, you have to express how you feel.” Erwin finished with a soft gaze.

“Yeah! And in the meantime, try to distract yourself. But no more cleaning!” Hange chirped.

“Agreed, no more cleaning.” Erwin added.

“Try reading something! That’ll pass the time!”

Levi ran his fingers through his hair to push his bangs back.  _ ‘Calm and collected, I can do that.’ _

-

After rereading the 89th page of ‘The Shining’ for the fifth time, absorbing nothing, Levi angrily shut the book and stumped into the couch. 

As Levi reached to pinch his nose, he sighed, eyes aching from focusing on the text.

Despite following Hange’s advice, time moved at a grueling snail’s pace. Levi glanced at the clock in irritation it’s 5:53. 

_ ‘It’s damn near six o’clock, where the hell is he?’  _ Levi’s arm ached to grab his phone and call Eren demanding where he was, but he stopped himself.

He had promised Erwin and Hange he’d be calm and collected with Eren. 

_ ‘Calm and collected. There’s no reason to call Eren, he probably got caught up with his friends and lost track of time like he always does.’  _ Levi thought in a futile attempt to soothe himself. His mind and body continued to buzz with anxiety and worry.

Levi took a deep breath through his nose, then exhaled through his mouth, releasing some of the tension in his chest. Levi took another, and another after that.

Levi slowly began to relax, sinking deep into the chair until the sound of turning metal cut through the silence.

Levi bolted his head from the couch and fixed his gaze on the door.

“Eren?” He called out, as Eren appeared from the door, smiling ear to ear.

“Hey, I’m back.” Eren responded, kicking his shoes off.

Levi took a swift glance at the clock, it’s 6:17.  _ ‘Why the fuck were you out so late?’  _ he thought as he clutched his jaw before he reminded himself,  _ ‘Calm and collected. Do not act on your emotions.’ _

Levi took a deep breath, “Finally.”, attempting to joke.

Eren walked over to Levi sitting on the couch and draped himself over Levi’s shoulders. Normally, Levi would have softened at his touch, but now Levi sat ridgid unable to focus on anything but the questions that threatened to spill out of his mouth. 

“Yeah, you missed me?” Eren smiled angelically.

Seeing Eren acting so oblivious and innocently, made Levi’s stomach simmer in slight contempt,  _ ‘Don’t look so virtuous. You made me wait eight hours for you to come home, what do you think?’  _

Levi remembered Erwin’s words,  _ ‘Allow yourself to be vulnerable with Eren, he can’t read your mind, you have to express how you feel’. _

Beneath the anger and scorn Levi was feeling right now, he had missed Eren and was worried when he had stayed out for longer than expected. Sneaking a glance at Eren, Levi sighed, preparing himself to be vulnerable. 

“Yes, I missed you. I didn’t know brunch was gonna take so long. You were gone all day.”

Eren, not grasping the gravity of the situation, laughed and strolled to the kitchen, “Yeah, we all just lost track of time. I had a blast.”

Levi watched Eren grab a soda from the fridge, seething with bitter at Eren’s ignorance of Levi’s reservedness. 

“What did you do?” Levi stood up, in an attempt to disburse the nervous energy pent up inside him.

“Oh, a lot of things,” Eren started, “We stayed at the brunch restaurant until Armin and Christa had to leave. Then we decided to go sightseeing downtown. We did that for a while, but everyone else had to go, so Reiner and I hung out together after that.”

Levi's chest clenched, “Just you and Reiner?” Levi began to walk towards the kitchen.  _ ‘Calm and collected’. _

“Yeah!” Eren obliviously chirped.

Levi shifted his eyes, unable to look at Eren as he enters the kitchen, “What did you guys do?” Levi’s heart started to race.  _ ‘Calm and collected’. _

Eren leaned back against the counter, “We walked around downtown some more. Not too long though, we both kinda got tired so we went back to Reiner’s hotel room to hang out.”

The air goes still. Levi broke.

Levi’s eyes widened as he whipped this face towards Eren and he raised his voice, “You did what?”

Eren furrowed his brows in confusion, “I just told you-” he started before Levi interrupted.

Levi scoffed, “I can’t fucking believe you right now.”

“Levi,-”

Words rush out of Levi’s mouth like a current, “You spontaneously disappear for hours, I’m worried sick about you only to find out that you’re sitting in some guy's hotel room!” Levi’s tongue was laced with venom as he spat those words out.

Eren crosses his arms in front of himself defensively, slightly shaking, “Reiner isn’t some guy, he’s my friend. Levi, what the hell is wrong with you lately?” Eren narrows his eyes, the grey piercing through the air.

Levi scoffs, “Me? What the hell is wrong with you?” Levi slowly stalks over to Eren, still leaning back against the counter.

“Ever since this Reiner guy shows up, you've been acting like I don’t even exist while you're drooling all over him like a dog. What, is my attention not good enough for you anymore, you need his too?”

Scoffing, Eren rolls his eyes, “Oh, so this is about Reiner? You’ve never had a problem with any of my friends, other than being the occasional asshole, what makes Reiner any different?”

Levi resolves to not resort to name-calling and focusing on the issue at hand, “If you and Reiner are such good friends, why haven’t you told me about him? You tell me every other bullshit story about your friends but conveniently neglect to tell me about him. That’s pretty suspicious.”

Eren visibly stiffens, Eren’s retort is quick and painful as a whip, “Well Levi, have you ever thought that I don’t have to tell you everything!” The air around them gets hot.

Those words cut Levi, going straight to his heart, he would feel hurt if he wasn’t so angry.  _ ‘Who the hell does he think he is’,  _ Levi scoffed and glared, “You’re being surprisingly secretive about you and Reiner, got something to hide?”

It was at this moment, Eren fully stood up to glare down at Levi, the space between them almost nonexistent. The air around them started to static.

“What are you trying to say?” Eren asked darkly.

Levi stood his ground and stared back at Eren with fiery intensity. His tongue was hot, ready to say words he didn’t truly mean,  _ ‘What did you and Reiner do? What aren’t you telling me?  _ **_Are you cheating on me?’_ **

Just as Levi’s mouth formed to ask the question, Erwin’s words rushed back to him.  _ “You need to stay calm and collected. Do not act on your emotions.” _

_ ‘Damn it,’  _ Levi cursed himself as shame washed over him. He was supposed to be calm and collected about this and he had failed miserably. Now, both of them were mad.

Eren continued to furiously stare down at Levi expectantly, until Levi turned away with a grimace.

Back turned, he forced “Whatever, forget it. Goodnight”. Levi stomped down the hall retreating to their bedroom with a heavy heart and a shameful spirit.

-

With his back towards Eren’s side, Levi laid sluggishly against the mattress. Him and Eren didn’t fight often, but when they did it left both of them feeling raw and drained.

Time seemed to deconstruct the more Levi laid there attempting to sleep, he didn’t know how long he was there until Eren came in the room.

After briskly getting ready for bed, Eren laid down with his back towards Levi’s side. Neither touched or looked at each other, both nurturing a deafening chasm that began to grow.

Levi wordlessly cursed and sank deeper into the sheets. For Levi’s second night in a row, sleep did not welcome him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here’s my play by play of what I thought when I wrote this chapter/ headcanons?
> 
> \- Mikasa is the type of sister who would send 10 texts in a row if Eren didn’t respond at first. And she definitely leaves detailed voicemails to him
> 
> \- hange would constantly try to help Levi with stupid remedies like “I’ve been having headaches lately.” “Yknow Levi if you throw a key over your shoulder!”
> 
> \- hange would probably believe in superstitions as well
> 
> \- there’s a Levi/ Eren fic called “I heard you talking” by screwtodayimsleeping where Eren is a teacher and loves overly sweet coffee and that just fits .
> 
> \- Eren would like frilly drinks too lol
> 
> \- “ adding coffee to his sugar.” see what I did there lmao
> 
> \- I do not own an Amazon Echo Show, this fic is not sponsored by Amazon lmao I just wanted ErwHanLev to FaceTime instead of a standard call and I remember a Christmas commercial about those things
> 
> \- hange would be the type who would always been there for you but if you start crying she’ll feel slightly awkward and wouldn’t know what to say. 
> 
> -Erwin is the type who’d let you vent and then be like “Listen, this is exactly what you need to do.”
> 
> -Erwin is the friend who gives advice that’s so good you don’t wanna follow it
> 
> \- when people are unjustifiably jealous, they tend to take things out of proportion and maybe exaggerate it so it fits their narrative and ‘justifies’ their actions. That’s how I wanted Levi to act.
> 
> \- there’s a reason why Eren hasn’t told Levi abt Reiner, find out next time ;)
> 
> \- the shining book > the movie 
> 
> \- them fighting was so hard to write. My heart was racing and I felt a little anxious as I wrote it lol, but rereading it I’m like :| . I guess it lost its luster to me :’(
> 
> -despite being shorter Levi never not stands his ground against Eren 
> 
> \- at first I was going to have Levi ask if Eren was cheating but I decided against that bcs saying something like that is really damaging and hurtful and I’m not sure I can resolve that 
> 
> Bloop yep that’s it, update in a week probably ;) thanks for reading . Eren POV next chapter only.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish this chapter was happy for you all, but the plot requires another sad chapter. :) Next Chapter will be HAPPY.

Eren sighed as he looked at himself in the reflection of his desktop computer despairingly. He didn’t look like himself. While his face, hair, and clothes looked the same as they always did, it was his eyes that were the outlier. His emotional eyes.

The base color was a greyish blue, but their colorfulness and vibrancy often changed according to his mood. When he was happy or elated, blue shined through the grey like storm clouds dissipating to make way for the open sky. When he was sad or dejected, the grey swallowed every color in its path, like spilled ink on a canvas. 

So it was no wonder, with how Eren’s feeling, that he’d be staring back at steel grey eyes.

Eren’s head felt 5 times heavier as he held it in his hands, weighed and hot.  _ ‘Ever since this Reiner guy shows up, you've been acting like I don’t even exist while you're drooling all over him like a dog. What, is my attention not good enough for you anymore, you need his too?’  _ It’s been two days since Levi said that to him, and Eren still hasn’t recovered from the shock of it all.

Levi and Eren had a couple fights before, but this one was definitely one of the worse. Not because of the initial fight, but because of the still ongoing aftermath of it. 

It was always a waiting game with them. Despite both feeling regretful and sorry, it was always a matter of who would swallow their pride first and apologize before they could make up. 

Sometimes it was Levi, sometimes it’s Eren, but whoever  **it** was never took long to do it. One of them would always cave in before bedtime, and if not then, then first thing in the morning the following day. 

But this time, as the clock mercilessly ticked away the dwindling seconds as they happened, two days have passed with a third threatening to do the same without either of them apologizing.

Eren had thought about apologizing. This morning, Eren, hazily fluttered his eyes open to the sun as he edged between the states of wakefulness and drowsiness. Eren spied Levi getting dressed to go to work in the bathroom with his back turned through the open door. Streaks of sunlight striped his back, Eren thought he looked beautiful.The sweet, honey golden light that colored their bedroom was a traitor to the depressing, melancholic atmosphere that Levi and Eren continued to nurtured. 

Basking in the delightful view, Eren wanted to apologize, to lift the heavy weight of their fight off their shoulders and enjoy the soft golden rays of the morning together.

Just as Eren began to open his mouth, hands of contempt wrapped around his throat to strangle the words from escaping his mouth while opposing emotions bounced around his head to the beat of a sudden sense of conflictedness.

Eren did want to apologize and make amends but white, hot anger began to boil inside him.  _ ‘Why should I have to apologize? He started the whole thing with his stupid fucking jealousy, it’s his fault he was upset in the first place. I have nothing to apologize for.’ _

Eren’s stomach lurched remembering Levi’s words,  _ ‘You spontaneously disappear for hours, I’m worried sick about you only to find out that you’re sitting in some guy's hotel room!’  _ Eren grimaced.

To Eren, Levi was being unreasonable, there was no cause for him to act like he did. Him and Reiner did nothing, him and Reiner are nothing, they’re just friends.  _ ‘Or, at least, now we are,’ _ Eren inwardly sighed.

Eren knew if he attempted an apology, string along the right words that Levi would want to hear, it would come out strained and disingenuous, and not to mention he wouldn’t mean a single part of it.

Eren sighed and inwardly cursed his conflictedness, pride, himself, Levi, and turned away. Succumbing to the dark, heavy shadow untouched by the beautiful flaxen rays of the morning and going back to sleep.

At his desk, Eren hung his head lower with a heavy heart, he wants to apologize but won’t. He wants to apologize to relieve the tension between them, to be able to hug and hold Levi as this fight becomes nothing more than a distant memory. But he doesn’t want to apologize; he refuses to give Levi the satisfaction that what Eren did was cause for an argument. 

_ ‘I did nothing wrong. I will not apologize. I will not apologize.’  _ Eren’s cheeks singed with heat as his eyes once again betrayed him as hot, thick tears started to well, threatening to fall.

“Mr. Jaeger?” The head dentist called from down the hall. Before he could turn the corner, Eren sucked up his tears, swiftly lifted his head, and plaster a wide grin on his face.

When the dentist finally came face to face with him, you’d never know Eren’s head was buzzing and his heart was breaking bit by bit. This was an ability that Eren’s proud to have mastered, it was perfected besides his damned eyes.

“When you’re done looking at the x-rays can you assist me in Room 3?” The dentist kindly asked, clearly oblivious to the storm that raged inside Eren.

“Of course, Doctor! That’s what assistants are for!” Eren forged a perfect, enthusiastic smile as if he was a puppeteer, pulling exactly the right strings on his face to perform.

The dentist laughed, “Lively as always, Mr. Jaeger! I’ll be waiting for you.”

As the dentist turned and walked away, Eren didn’t care to form a response in confirmation.

Once alone, Eren lowered his lively mask to stare back at himself in the computer’s reflection, piercing grey eyes shining dully in his true expression.

Eren could fool anyone with his performance, but he couldn’t fool himself. A ragged feeling took over Eren, a type of deep-rooted abysmal ragged feeling from his depths of his soul. Eren knew that if this didn’t get resolved soon, his mask would start to crack.

He wasn’t going to apologize to Levi, but he knew what he could do.

Eren whipped out his phone, and sent a quick text before joining his coworkers.

**“Let’s get lunch together.”**

-

Eren wiggled in his seat as he waited anxiously, occasionally whipping his head around towards the door chime then looking down deflated because it wasn’t the person he was expecting. 

Eren twirled the straw in his glass as he propped his face up with the palm of his hand,  _ ‘Where is he?’ _

Eren didn’t register the next door chime as dark thoughts clouded his mind,  _ ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. It’s my problem, I shouldn’t drag him into it. Maybe I should..’ _

_ “ _ Eren!”

Eren looked up to see Armin beaming down at him, smiling as brightly as ever. In Armin’s presence, dark thoughts gave away to a shiny, golden sun.

“Armin!” Eren rushed up to hug him, Armin accepted it wholeheartedly, laughing breathlessly.

Still embracing, Eren slightly withdrew from Armin to speak, “I was worried that you wouldn’t make it, this place is a little out of the way for you.”

Armin smiled, “Yeah, traffic was a little congested, but I still made it!”

Eren and Armin released and took their seats, scooting their chairs closer to sit side by side instead of across.

After ordering, Eren started again, a remorseful look on his face, “Sorry again, Armin. I know how busy you are, and we just saw each other, and-”

Eren stopped as he looked down to see Armin had placed a hand on Eren’s, Eren looked up expectantly.

“Eren,” Armin started, voice sweet and calming, “It’s fine. You’re my best friend, any lost time and traffic is worth it. In fact, I think it’s a pretty sweet deal.” Armin punctuated his sentiment with a trademark smile. 

Eren laughed in response, “Thanks for always having my back.” Being in Armin’s presence made Eren feel lifted, as if every burden on his shoulders had dissipated and he could fly over the tall walls of his inhibitions like a soaring bird.

“Of course!”, Armin released Eren’s hand and he adopted a more serious tone, “Besides, I figured there was something bothering you that you wanted to talk about.”

Eren furrowed his brow questioningly, “How did you know that?”

Armin shrugged and smiled knowingly, “I just did.”

Eren never had a way with words, he could never completely express how he felt and when he would attempt it would come out shallow or unintentionally offensive. But Armin, being the wordy whiz kid genius he was, always knew exactly how Eren felt down to his deepest emotions.

Eren sighed then softly smiled at Armin to attempt a joke, “Yeah, you got me.”

Remembering why Eren called Armin here darken his mood and deepened his voice, he looked up at Armin, “Look, Armin. I need your help and you’re the only person I trust to give me the best advice right now.” Eren paused, “Well, you and Mikasa, but if I told Mikasa she’d probably resort to murder.”

Armin laughed softly, “Must be about Levi then. I noticed there was something off about him at Jean’s birthday.”

Eren hung his head and sighed as he begin, “Yeah, about that…”

-

Their food has long since arrived, Eren’s sat forgotten as he finished his story, “So, yeah that’s what happened. Don’t you think he overreacted? I didn’t do anything and he flipped out anyway. We’ve barely talked for the past two days and I’m ready to put this whole thing behind us, but I shouldn’t have to apologize. All I did was go out for a day and I’m the bad guy? So what do you think?”

Eren looks at Armin, his brows lowered in thought as he ponders the right thing to say. 

After a few seconds pass, Armin finally responds, “Well, Eren, I don’t think anyone’s the bad guy here.”

Eren interrupts, slightly raising his voice, “But he-,”

“Eren,” Armin softly scolds.

Eren huffs and leans back in his seat, “Sorry, finish what you were saying.”

“Thank you,” Armin softly starts again, “I don’t think anyone’s the bad guy here. It was wrong for Levi to react that way but also you shouldn’t have antagonized him either.”

Eren looks away in shame remembering his words,  _ “Well Levi, have you ever thought that I don’t have to tell you everything!”.  _

Eren inwardly curses himself,  _ ‘My stupid mouth.’ _

“I’m sure Levi was just worried about you and his emotions got the best of him, you should have at least texted him.” Eren huffed at that, Armin ignore it and continued, “No one is the bad guy here, you both just got emotional and said things you shouldn’t have.” Armin explained.

Eren defensively crosses his arms, “So, you’re saying I should apologize?” he grimaced.

“Not sounding like that,” Armin jokes, “Listen, an apology isn’t going to make his issue disappear, you both need to talk. You need to calmly explain to Levi how you feel and he’ll do the same, then you can apologize. If you don’t talk this out it’ll become a bigger issue than it is in the future.”

Eren looks up towards the ceiling, pondering what Armin said.  _ ‘Calmly explain to Levi. I can do that.’ _

Eren sighs as he looks back at Armin, his brows are furrowed and his lips are pursed, after knowing Armin for the majority of his life he knows that that’s the face Armin makes when he’s not telling Eren something.

Eren expectantly asks, “What?”

Still looking curious, Armin looks at everything in the restaurant before finally settling on Eren’s face, “I’m just confused about why you didn’t tell him about you and Reiner.”

This visibly takes Eren back, he stubbornly looks away and responds, “What about me and Reiner? We’re just friends.”

Armin tilts his head, “Eren, you know what I’m talking about.”

Eren’s eyes look downcast as he gets the chills, Eren crosses his arms tighter,  _ ‘We’re nothing now. It doesn’t matter.’ _

Long repressed memories start to surface, early college memories of him and Reiner. Eren’s eyes and cheeks start to sting, nostalgia and hurt washes on him in waves. Eren’s head feels hazy, he wishes the memories could stop.

Granting his unspoken wish, Armin places a comforting hand on Eren's shoulder, grounding him from being consumed by awful memories.

Eren blinks away the moisture in his eyes and breathes deeply, as Armin retracts his hand.

Once calmed, he starts mournfully, “I didn’t tell Levi because there’s nothing to talk about. Yeah, we used to date but that was a long time ago, my freshman year of college. It’s no big deal. He’s just a friend I happened to have dated in the past. Nothing more, nothing less.” Eren tries to mask his bitterness.

“You don’t have to put up a front or get defensive with me, Eren. I know how close you and Reiner were, and how hurt you were when you broke up. It’s only natural to feel a little sentimental about it.” Armin reminds him.

Eren frowns, knowing he can’t hide his true feelings away from Armin, begrudgingly Eren tells the truth, “It’s not like I still have feelings for him, it’s just I rather not think about what happened. That’s why I didn’t tell Levi, I didn’t want to bring up old memories. And besides Reiner acts like nothing happened between us so I can act like that too.”

“But something did happen.” Armin began, “You and Reiner dated for the majority of your freshman year, and it’s not like you guys broke up because of relationship issues. You only broke up because he was moving away. It was a very serious relationship for you, he was your first love. You don’t think that Levi has a right to know that especially now since Reiner is here and he’s met Reiner.”

“I can’t do that, that would just prove him right!” Eren raises his voice in defense. The last thing he wants is to make it seem like what Levi did was right.

“This is bigger than proving someone right or wrong. This is about an ex in the past that is affecting your current relationship. You need to tell, Levi.” Armin concludes.

Eren looks away from Armin in defiance, he doesn’t want to tell Levi anything. Telling him comes with remembering, nostalgia, and Levi (in Eren’s head) thinking that he was right to be possessive and jealous. Eren frowns,  _ ‘I can’t. I won’t.’ _

Sensing Eren’s abnegation, Armin sighs as he prepares himself for something he knows Eren doesn’t want to hear, “I know it’ll be hard for you but you  **need** to swallow your pride and tell Levi. It will be better in the long run.”

Armin took care to use that tone of voice he always does when he’s serious, so this time Eren attempts to take it to heart.  _ ‘Tell Levi,’ _

Eren hates it, but trusts that Armin wouldn’t tell him bad advice and deep down he knows it isn’t.  _ ‘Tell Levi.’ _

Eren sighs to steel his nerves, “Fine, I'll do it.”

-

As Eren drives home, his thoughts whizzed through his head like the passing streetlights.  _ ‘Armin is right, I have to tell Levi. I have too.’ _

Eren tried to ignore the twisting knot in his stomach and the clamminess of his heads, but to no avail. The uncertainty of Levi’s reaction chilled him to the core. 

Questions of  _ ‘Will he be mad? Will he be understanding? Will he freak out like last time?’  _ buzzed in Eren’s head, each coupled with an ambiguous anxiety-inducing answer.

Eren forced himself to breathe, rationalizing that there was no point in trying to predict Levi’s reaction. He only has one objective to worry about, telling Levi, everything after that he’ll play by ear. But even saying that didn’t ease the anxiety in his heart.

_ ‘I’ll just tell Levi, it’s that simple. I’ll just-’ _

Eren’s thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the shrill ringtone of his phone through the car speakers, causing him to jump a little in his seat.

Focused on the road, Eren doesn’t look down at the car radio for the Caller ID and just mashes the answer button on the steering wheel.

“Hello?” Eren breathlessly answers, praying it’s not Levi on the other end of the call. If it was Levi, Eren might blurt out what he wants to say in nervousness. 

“Yo, Eren!” Reiner voice booms through the car speakers, Eren can almost feel the vibrations pulsating through the air.

Eren sighs and releases the white knuckle grip he had on the wheel he didn’t know he had, “Hey, Reiner. I’m driving home right now, what’s up?”

Reiner makes an exclamatory sound, “Great, you’re not home yet, I’d thought I missed you. Listen, since it’s my last couple days in the States, how about you have dinner with me tonight?”

Eren’s heart oddly skips a beat, he wasn’t expecting this. It would be nice to see Reiner again but he should really settle things with Levi. 

He knows he should just go home, but Eren falters with his rejection. 

Eren mumbles, “I don’t know, I have things to do at home.”

Reiner is persistent, taking Eren’s reluctance as cold feet, pries, “Oh, c’mon. What’s so important that can’t wait until tomorrow?”

Reiner words ring in Eren’s ears,  _ ‘Can it wait tomorrow? I don’t necessarily have to tell him immediately, I can just tell him when I see him. It’s not going to change anything.’ _

Eren weighs the options further,  _ ‘Levi’s going to be mad regardless, whether I go home and tell him now or have him wait longer.’ _

With his last thought, Eren’s eyes narrow in contempt, remembering the atmosphere at home. They’ve barely spoken for the last two days, and to Eren, Levi hasn’t made one attempt to reconcile. 

Eren hands grip the wheel harder as a burning red feeling washes over his chest,  _ ‘Why should I rush home to fix things when he acts like he couldn’t care less? He’s the one that started the issue in the first place. It is his fault.’ _

Armin’s words ring dully and distantly in his head,  _ “I know it’ll be hard for you but you  _ **_need_ ** _ to swallow your pride and tell Levi. It’ll be better in the long run,”  _ but it doesn’t break through the wall of stubbornness growing inside of Eren. 

After all,  _ ‘Armin didn’t exactly say when.’ _

Eren  **knows** he should go home, but the idea of annoying Levi further childishly excites him, so he can’t stop himself from saying “Sure! I’ll be there.” as he takes the next exit.

-

“...And the man next to me says, ‘Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?’” Reiner’s joke is punctuated with boarious laughter from both Eren and Reiner, their voices echoing off the walls in the hotel room.

Reiner and Eren sit side by side on the edge of the bed, both holding flutes of champagne. Eren was leaned in slightly towards Reiner.

“My time in Italy was amazing, utterly beautiful.” Reiner exclaimed.

Eren, smiling widely, breathlessly agreed, “I bet.”

Reiner gave him a sly look, “You’d probably love too, you’ve always been more artsy than me. You ought to plan a trip.” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Eren bashfully tucks his hair behind his ear, “I really don’t have time for traveling. I’m still on my way to becoming a dentist and…”  _ Levi is too busy to go on vacation _ , he almost says but doesn’t. Eren doesn’t want to think about Levi right now.

“It’s so expensive, you know.” he settles as he looks down.

Reiner lightly tilts Eren’s head back up, it’s a gesture so quick and soft Eren barely registered it happened until Reiner starts talking again.

“If you want to travel, you should do it as fast as you can before you can regret it.”

Stupidly, all Eren can fluster is, “Yeah.” Even though Reiner’s hand is down, the warmth still lingers on Eren’s face.

Reiner’s eyes flash up, he’s thinking about something, before settling back on Eren and saying, “You know, you could always travel with me. You know I’d take care of you.” A devilish smirk dances on his lips.

The face Reiner gives Eren is an overfamiliar one, one he hasn’t seen since college. Eren’s stomach twists,  _ ‘What is going on here?’ _

Eren takes a moment to collect his senses, “I-,”  _ ‘something off’,  _ “I don’t know, Reiner.” 

Eren eyes shift downward and he visibly shrinks, he feels childish as he can’t stop red soft blush from creeping up his neck and cheeks.

Reiner sighs, then lifts his glass and gulps down the booze. Eren watches in confusion as Reiner grabs his and places the two glasses on the carpeted floor.

Reiner turns towards Eren and places his hand past Eren’s hip on the bed, decreasing the space between them.

Subconsciously, Eren straightens up at the sudden shift. The atmosphere isn’t as light and airy as it was, it was denser now.

“Eren,” Reiner starts leaning in, “I haven’t been honest with you.”

In between shallow breathes, Eren asks, “What do you mean?” Eren’s eyes fluttered over every inch of Reiner’s face, searching for intention.

Reiner’s voice deepens, “I asked to you come here to tell you something I didn’t have to courage to say two days ago.”

Eren’s heart quickens, beating furiously against half filled lungs, he doesn’t like where this is going.

Before Eren can find his voice, Reiner starts again, “I missed you. I missed you everyday since I left. It didn’t matter where I was or who was I with because I wished you where with me every step of the way.” Reiner leaned in closer and repeated, “I missed you.”

The world swirls around Eren, visualizing his confusion. Eren’s eyes was burning hot, tears threatening to well, with his tongue too thick and clumsy to form words, “I-,”

“I should’ve never left you. So what I wanted to say is I love you, Eren.”

Reiner moves closer, there’s practically no space between them.

Eren feels the beats of his heart vibrate in each of his bones, he’s barely breathing when he weakly says “Reiner, don’t.”

Reiner inches his face closer, their breaths mix, as his eyes flash towards Eren’s lips and he grabs his wrist.

It’s a routine all too familiar to Eren, it’s the same set of motions he remembers from their early days of college together. 

Eren knows exactly what is going to happen next, so he doesn’t know why he doesn’t stop Reiner from hungrily smashing his lips onto his and savoring the taste of lingering champagne. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi POV next chapter
> 
> There will be two more chapter after this , so 5 in total. Funny how this was supposed to be a one shot :’)
> 
> Update in a week, but I started classes so hopefully I can 
> 
> The play by play again
> 
> -Writing Eren is HARD 
> 
> \- I just realized it just started three chapters with the characters looking at their reflections lmaooo I did not plan that , imma try my hardest to break the cycle next chapter.
> 
> \- Eren wanting to be a dentist kinda fits, I just looked up his Myers Briggs and typed in jobs for his personality type lol
> 
> \- I love Eremin. Eremin > Ereri. So I went off writing them interactioning together. But in this Universe they’re just friends
> 
> -to clarify: the first night that Eren and Reiner hung out, NOTHING happened, they just chilled. But as you read, that’s not the case this time lol
> 
> \- ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON 4 EPISODE 5 SPOILERS BELOW  
> * i think it’s funny I’m over here writing Reiner and Eren together when they’re literally so fucking miserable right now 
> 
> end play by play. 
> 
> Thanks for reading again :) <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning at the beginning, sexually violent themes.
> 
> Sorry for the late update, college is a pain.
> 
> I did promise you all a nice chapter :)

Eren knows exactly what is going to happen next, so he doesn’t know why he doesn’t stop Reiner from hungrily smashing his lips onto his and savoring the taste of lingering champagne. 

Eren opens his mouth to say something, anything, but Reiner crashes deeper into Eren, muffling any words Eren attempted to say.

To Eren, the room is spinning and there’s no air left to breathe.  _ ‘This is wrong, I shouldn’t be doing this.’ _

Reiner is still holding Eren’s wrist so with his free hand he grabs Reiner by the waist to push him away but his strength is gone. He’s willing his body to move, to stop this, but his thoughts get lost in haze before they can reach his brain.

Eren’s face contorts under the kiss, it’s harsh and rough. Eren feels as though he has been submerged in tar; inescapable, dirty, and dark.

His heart feels weighed, soaked in guilt. Eren almost thinks he’s going to be sick,  _ ‘Why is this happening, what did I do?’  _

Eren’s eyes grew violently hot; he hates this, he hates Reiner, he hates this situation, he hates himself. Eren’s chest tightens dangerously, his head and heart is pounding so furiously, Eren half expects the walls to start shaking. 

In a haze, Eren sees a blurry pale skin, short jet black hair, and piercing grey eyes. The image is distant and incomprehensible like desert mirage. Eren wishes he could reach it.

Eren is suffering as he opens his mouth in another attempt to speak, when Reiner inserts his slimy tongue inside his mouth.

Eren gags at the intrusion. Just as their tongues make contact, a spark of electricity surges through Eren. His eyes widen and his arms spring to action, pushing Reiner away.

Reiner falls awkwardly off the bed as Eren bounces up.

Eren looks down at Reiner furiously, visibly shaking, “What the hell are you doing, Reiner!” he yells through gritted teeth. Eren hates his voice when it reaches his ears, it’s unstable and weak, like freshly shattered glass, it’s not him at all.

Eren wipes his arm hard across his lips, as if to scrub away the feeling of Reiner’s, their weight, their taste, but it all still lingers. Eren would rip them off his face and scrub by hand if he could. 

Reiner, stupidly and confused, reaches up towards Eren, “Eren, I-”

Anger continues to boil inside Eren, words rush out of his mouth like a well, “No, what the fuck is wrong with you, Reiner?!”

Eren slowly stalks towards Reiner, his eyes are burning with tears and hate, “Is that why you called me here? So you can make a pass at me, am I that easy to you?”

Eren wants to stop and before he starts crying but as the first tear falls he says, “You think you can just leave me and then decide to love me and take me back when it’s convenient to you?”

Reiner starts to get up, “No, Eren, and I’m sorry-”

“You’re sorry?!”, Eren’s voice booms over Reiner as he takes a cautious step back, “Do you know how much it hurt when you left? I could only cry to Armin because everyone else loved you. I wanted to spend my life with you, and you decide to drop out of school and go all across the world! You left me behind! We didn’t even have to break up!”

Reiner stands at a distance, “Yes, we did Eren. Long distance wouldn’t work on either of us, you needed to focus on school and I wanted to focus on traveling.”

Eren seethed, “Yeah, you wanted to focus on who’s pants you can get into!”

“Eren…”, Reiner sighed as he slowly inched closer to Eren, like attempting to tame a wild animal, “No matter how much time has passed I still love you and I know you love me too.”

Eren tensed up as his heart skipped. Wide eyed, “You don’t love me Reiner, because if you did you would have never broken up with me! And I don’t love you!” Eren’s last words rang in his ears, it was a bitter sweet sound.

Hurt flashes in Reiner eyes before he quickly closes the distance between them and grabs Eren’s shoulders with a white knuckle grip.

Reiner charges forward until Eren’s back collides with the wall, a loud thud resonating throughout the room.

Eren’s wince for pain is drowned out by Reiner, “Then prove it.”

This time it comes with no warning, Reiner’s rough lips meet Eren’s once more. It’s more of a collision than a kiss. Reiner towers over Eren, leaving Eren no space but to smush deeper into the wall. 

Teary-eyed, Eren wrenches his face from Reiner. Eren lungs are burning for air as he pants loudly. In disgust, Eren can’t even force himself to look at Reiner

Reiner tightens his grip and stares into Eren deeply, “Face it, Eren. You and I are meant for each other, we have so much history together. You think you’re better off with Levi than me?”

Eren’s eyes shot up,  _ ‘Levi…’.  _ Pale skin, short jet black hair, and piercing grey eyes; Eren misses it. Another tear falls, he misses Levi. He loves Levi.

Eren glares up violently as his vision encases in red. Eren musters all his strength and pushes Reiner at the waist, staggering him back. Eren doesn’t give Reiner a chance to steady himself before Eren’s fist forcefully collides with Reiner’s jaw. Reiner falls to the floor with a loud thud. 

Fury in his eyes, Eren looks down at Reiner, “Don’t ever talk about Levi, and don’t talk to me ever again.”

With a hanging head, Eren turns to leave, finally escaping.

Laced with pain, Reiner’s voice calls out to him from the floor, “Eren, wait.”

Eren’s ears are ringing so much from anger, Reiner’s voice doesn’t even register as he slams the door shut.

-

Passing street lights blur in Eren’s wake, as he drives. He never wanted to get home faster.

In the privacy of his own car, Eren allowed himself to cry. Hiccuped sobs were the only sounds to keep him company. 

Eren wiped a rough hand over his eyes, he couldn’t see past his tears. 

His sobs reverberated throughout all of his body, curbing the growing numbness he felt.

_ ‘I can’t believe this happened. Reiner…’  _ Eren’s heart feels hallowed from the betrayal. Reiner forcibly drew out emotions and memories that didn’t belong to him anymore, and it left Eren feeling dejected and robbed. 

In this moment, Eren feels like he has no more emotions to give. 

Tears flood Eren’s eyes as dark thoughts cloud his mind, again he wipes a hand over his eyes.

When the road doesn’t get any clearer, Eren blinks in confusion. As Eren passes a road sign, he finds he can’t understand the bold, white lettering. The words are too blurry to be legible despite him seeing two of them.

Eren turns back to the road, with twice the amount of lines it should have, and despairingly sighs  _ ‘I must have had more champagne than I thought’  _ he muses as he realized it’s not the tears that made it hard to see, it was the fact that he was drunk.

Eren growls and hits the steering wheel in frustration, his head is hot and pounding.  _ ‘I just want to go home,’  _ The tears start flowing again in hopelessness.

Eren wants to go home, end this dreadful day and leave it in his memories. But he knows he can’t. Without being able to read the exit signs, Eren will never figure out how to get home. Or in the worst case scenario, hurt himself or someone else attempting to drive drunk.

Eren wipes the tears from his eyes and combs through his hair, rationalizing what to do next.

Sniffling, Eren takes the next exit and parks in the nearest lot as he makes a call.

-

Despite a mixture of soft textures in his mouth and a plate of food in front of him, Levi can’t taste anything. 

Dull eyes dance around the plate, empty and uninterested. No taste, no feeling, no emotion. Just numbness.

Levi forces a swallow and shoves more food in his mouth to force another. It hits his empty, numb stomach like a ton of rocks. Levi doesn’t want to eat, but he knows he has too. That thought doesn’t make it any easier, eating doesn’t feel like a pleasure anymore. Just a menial task needed for survival.

In between swallows, Levi picks up his phone. He unlocks it just to see his reflection staring back at him, no new messages.

Mindlessly, Levi thumbs in his password and slides to his message tab. Eren’s thread is at the top, it simply reads  _ ‘I’m getting dinner out, I’ll be home later.’ _

Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t feel disappointed when he read that. Levi wanted to apologize tonight, finally lifting this depressive strain on their relationship, but with Eren out that’s not going to happen. 

Two days after their fight and it looks like it’ll be three soon. It’s a sick new record for them.

Questions bounced around Levi’s mind. Who was he with? Armin? Mikasa?  **Reiner?** When will he be back?

Lately, Eren’s lack of presence gave Levi a sick and tormented feeling he doesn’t like to dwell on.  _ ‘Am I pushing him away? Does he not feel comfortable at home anymore?’  _ And despite reasoning that’s not the case, doubt trumps all.

_ ‘Does this mean soon we’re…?’  _ Levi clenches his jaw as the pain of that thought courses through his chest and deep in his heart, like lead filled poison.

Levi pushes those thoughts back with another shovel of food,  _ ‘No, this ends today. I’m not going to lose him over this.’ _

The sound of Levi’s soft chews were suddenly accompanied by the cool buzzing of his phone. Levi peered at it, the name Eren plastered over the screen.

Levi paused for a moment, thoughts running wild.  _ ‘Why is he calling me?’  _ Levi’s mind flooded with worse case scenarios,  _ ‘Is he planning on…?’ _

As the phone was nearing its last ring, Levi smashes the answer button and presses it to his face.

Levi attempts to calm and steady his voice, “Hello?”

“Hey, Levi.” Eren has a suspicious drawl and slur in his voice,  _ ‘he sounds off’ _ .

There’s a long enough pause for anxiety to start growing inside Levi again, so he grunts, “What is it, brat? Why’d you call me?”

Eren’s nickname slides out of Levi's mouth so fluidly, he barely realizes it. He hasn’t called Eren brat since their fight, Levi won’t admit that he missed it. Levi sends a silent prayer,  _ ‘Hopefully Eren doesn’t mind.’ _

If he does, he gave no indication that he did, because he answers plainly, “I’ll send you my location, can you pick me up?”

It’s not much, but the way Eren’s words blend together seamlessly, makes it apparent to Levi that he’s drunk.

It’s not the worse case scenario, but questions buzz around in his head anyway.  _ ‘Who were you with that got you drunk and can’t take you home?’ _

Levi forces his mind to a halt before all the questions spill out at once, “Are you okay? Are you alone? What happened?” Worry laces his voice, Levi hates the sound.

Eren sighs, tired and drunk, “Yeah, I’m alone in the car parked outside a MacDonald’s. I didn’t realize I was drunk until I started driving.”

Levi suppresses a curse,  _ ‘What the fuck do you mean you didn’t know?’  _

Before he can respond with something more appropriate, Eren speaks again, “Please hurry, Levi,” he pleads, “I just want to go home.”

The way Eren’s voice slightly quivers, Levi knows without seeing that Eren’s probably on the verge of tears. A chill runs down his spine. 

Levi’s body mindlessly springs to action, “Okay, I’m getting my keys right now. I’m on my way. Lock the doors and don’t talk to anyone until I get there, okay brat?”

“Yeah,” Eren mumbles, Levi imagines him leaning over the steering wheel with his cheek smushed against the dashboard.

Levi senses that Eren is going to hang up, so he thoughtlessly blurts out, “Wait!”

Levi imagines Eren probably grimaced at Levi’s sudden outburst by how strained he says, “What?”

Now that he’s got Eren’s attention, cold resolve crumbles away to bashfulness. Levi sighs to steel his nerves and says, “I’m… worried about you. Can we stay on the phone while I drive there?”

An usual pink color twinges his cheeks,  _ ‘Now's not the time to be acting like a nervous school girl!’ _

There’s a pause and Eren doesn’t say anything, like he’s thinking about something. It’s then that Levi remembers that him and Eren aren’t on the best of terms to be overfamiliar right now. Levi muses that that’s probably what Eren is thinking too.

“We don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want to.” 

It’s a big step for Levi. Despite his overflowing questions and growing anxiety, it’s clear to him that Eren doesn’t want to talk. And although he would rather not, Levi’s willingly to wait until he does.

Eren’s voice lightened, “Alright...thank you.”

Levi’s never been one for saying ‘you’re welcome’, so he says, “Okay, getting in the car now.”

Levi grabs his coat, and Eren’s spare one just in case, and brisks to the door. As he grips the door handle, Levi releases the weight of their fight, his jealousy, and his stubbornness, to focus on what matters most. In this moment, none of that matters. All that matters is getting his boyfriend home.

-

After passing the fifth exit from their house, Levi’s thoughts began to run wild again.  _ ‘What the hell was he doing so far out?’ _

Eren wasn’t the best at directions, but he generally knows how to get home. The fact that he skipped five exits before noticing he was lost was so unlike him. 

Levi’s gut twisted thinking of multiple worse case scenarios that put his boyfriend in this position.

Levi glanced at the phone propped in the dashboard, the call still on going. Faint sparks of curiosity twinkled in the back of his mind, ready to form a question. Levi suppressed the urge and said, “I'll be there in two minutes.”

“Okay.” Eren mumbled. Throughout the car ride, Levi took care to update Eren about his ETA and each time he responded as if Levi just woke him up. By how he sounds, Levi knows that Eren’s using all his energy to respond and not fall asleep.

As the car drives forward, golden arches stretch across the horizon. Levi inwardly grimaced,  _ ‘Couldn't Eren choose to stop somewhere more sanitary.’ _

Levi sighed as he turned into the parking lot,  _ ‘No, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad his drunk ass didn’t get hurt on the way here.’ _

Levi spys Eren’s car in the right corner of the parking lot as he pulls up next to him.

“Alright, Eren, I’m here.” Levi said, Eren simply hummed in acknowledgement.

Levi hangs up the call and coolly strolls to the driver’s side of the car. Just as Levi imagined, Eren’s leaning over the steering wheel with his cheek smushed against the dashboard. His face is turned away so he doesn’t see Levi approach.

Levi gives the window three small taps to get his attention. Eren lazily turns his head over to face Levi, and it was at that moment Levi knew there was something wrong with him other than being drunk. 

Eren’s complexion was pale and washed out, instead of his usually warmed tan color. His eyes were sunken, dark, and grey, except for the harsh blotches of red in the whites of his eye. He had eye bags colored red, blue, and purple. They almost looked like bruises.

He looks worse than drunk.

Levi’s heart twinged and his pulse quickened at the sight. His tongue itches with questions, but Levi bites them because Eren’s eyes almost look pleading. Pleading Levi to just take him home and leave questions for later. As much as Levi yearns for answers, he won’t ask for them. So despite a small betrayed part of his heart begging him not to, he just trusts,  _ ‘He’ll tell me when he’s ready.’  _ So he does.

But that doesn’t stop him from inspecting Eren top to bottom, trying to ascertain what could have possibly happened tonight.

Unable to decipher it, Levi finally began, “Eren…” he said through the glass,  _ ‘You look like shit.’ _

Eren didn’t wait for Levi to come up with something sensitive to say as he stepped out of the car to stand next to Levi. 

As Eren locked the car he said, “We can pick up the car tomorrow.”

Levi looked around skeptically, “Yeah, if it’ll be here tomorrow. This  **is** an MacDonald’s parking lot.”

Eren dismissively shrugged.  _ ‘He’s really out of it.’  _ Levi thought.

Clearly sensing Eren’s not in the socializing mood, Levi turns to open the passenger side door, “Well, get in. It’s a long way home.”

Eren nodded drunkenly, as if his head weighed double its size, and clammered in the car.

Standing over Eren, Levi asked, “Do you feel like you’re going to throw up?”

Eren curls himself up in his seat, and mumbles, “No, I don’t think so.”

Levi nods, “Good, then we’ll go fast.” Levi gently closes the door and walks over to his side.

As soon as Levi steps in the car, he eyes don’t leave Eren, constantly inspecting his well being. Eren’s curled up against the passenger door, his cheek smushed against the window. Levi peers forward and sees his eyes closed, but knows by how irregular his breathing is that he’s not sleeping,

Once satisfied, Levi turns to start the car. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi notices Eren shivering in his seat, so he turns the heat on. 

Levi turns to inspect Eren one last time and sighs, “Your seatbelt, brat.”

Levi doesn’t wait for Eren to react and just lifts in his seat to grab Eren’s seatbelt himself. Levi gets close enough to smell Eren’s cologne, it’s a fresh and citrusy smell. Levi allows himself to fill his lungs with it when he realizes how much he missed it.

Levi clicks Eren’s seatbelt in place, Eren looks back at him and mumbles a small, “Thank you.”

Even though it’s not his thing, Levi stifles a “you’re welcome, brat.”

For a small second, Levi thinks he sees Eren’s hard expression soften before he turns away, but he just chalks it up to his imagination.

Levi turns to face forward, finally putting the car in drive to go home.

-

The ride back is just as silent and long as it was before, only hotter. Levi wordlessly curses at the stuffiness of the car, but a glance at Eren no longer shivering reminds him to not mind the heat so much.

The sight of their driveaway ahead makes Levi sigh in relief,  _ ‘Fucking finally.’  _

As Levi parks, he says softly, “We’re home.”

Eren’s head rises from his cocoon to look out the window at their house. His hair sticks up everywhere and hugs his cheeks.

Levi rises out of the car and walks over to Eren’s side. Levi waits for Eren to lightly lift his head from the window before opening.

Looking down, he says, “Can you walk?” Levi tries to soften the edge in his voice, he’s not sure if it was effective.

Eren nods as he climbs out of the car. Eren’s hunched over everywhere, he’s also Levi’s height standing at his straightest. 

Together, they walk into the house, Levi slightly behind to monitor Eren’s walking. It’s silence, save for the sound of their feet against the floor.

Once in their room, Levi speaks, “Do you want anything?”

Eren plops down on the bed and begins undressing, “No,” he mumbles.

Levi nods, but goes to retrieve a water bottle from the kitchen anyway. Just in case.

Once he returns, Eren’s curled under the covers with his clothes sprawled over the floor. The sight doesn’t annoy Levi like it usually would, he just dismissively shrugs and picks them up to take to the hamper.

Levi places the water on the bedside table next to Eren, as he’s leaning down he gazes at Eren’s face. There’s not that much change, expect his bruise-colored eye bags have dulled into his pale complexion. It’s not much, but Levi's heart lifts anyway.

Levi does his nightly routine before climbing into bed with Eren. Once there, he assumes yesterday’s position at the edge of bed. As much as it pains Levi’s heart to do so, he doesn’t want to make Eren uncomfortable. Eren could still be upset with him, and Levi believes he has the right to be.

Solemnly, Levi cages himself to his side of the bed and sinks into the bed. 

Levi’s prepared for another sleepless night due to his overactive mind, not the constant movement on the other side of the bed.

The sound of the sheets rustling cuts through the silence as Eren flips over to his right side, then back to his left.

Levi stares into the darkness and waits several moments for Eren to stop moving, but that doesn’t come. Eren restlessly tosses and turns for what feels like forever.

Eren’s never been one to have sleeping problems, the moment his head hits the sheets he falls asleep. So Levi can’t help but wonder what’s bothering him so much.

Eventually, the turns stop. In curiosity, Levi flips towards Eren’s side, he’s turned away. Eren laid still, but even in the darkness Levi could see Eren’s back tense and taunt like a bow.

_ ‘He can’t sleep.’  _ Levi prepares to turn back over, but Eren’s voice rings in his mind,  _ “Please hurry, Levi. I just want to go home.” _

The memory warms his heart. Home. Eren wanted to go home. Home, a place where him and Eren share.  _ ‘He wasn’t planning on leaving after all.’ _ With that thought, Levi releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his chest feels a little more lighter.

Levi narrows his eyes in the darkness, knowing that more than anything Eren wants to sleep, and he can’t stand seeing his boyfriend suffer.

Levi slowly inches closer to Eren, prepared to stop if need be, until he could feel Eren’s body heat. The warmth envelops Levi’s body, driving out the harsh chill deep in his bones.

Levi missed this, nights with Eren were always warm.

A chilled breath escapes Levi’s mouth and shutters onto Eren’s neck. Eren hitches but doesn’t move after that. Levi takes that as admission.

Levi lifts his arm and drapes it over Eren's waist, just the way he likes it, and places his head in the nape of his neck. Levi breathes in everything: his scent, his heat, everything he’s missed. He stops himself from getting too pleased, he’s not doing this for him. He’s doing this for Eren. So Eren can feel at home.

Only a second passes before Eren sinks back, melting into Levi. Levi embraces him even tighter.

At this moment, Levi’s heart isn’t aching and his head isn’t buzzing. All Levi feels is elation and wanting this moment to last forever, long enough to savor every bit of it. Levi’s glad Eren is turned away, or least he might see how glossy and soft his eyes were. He doesn’t want to lose his edge.

Eren’s breath levels, and soon their hearts begin to beat in sync. A harmonious melody, a song they’ve almost forgotten. 

It’s nice, it’s warm, and it’s the first peaceful sleep they’ve had in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update in 1-2 weeks, thanks for reading again! And thank you for the comments! If you comment I’ll reply when the update is up :). 
> 
> Next Chapter: The Talk !
> 
> Play by play:
> 
> Haha now y’all can hate Reiner :D (which is funny bcs I love Reiner in the anime)
> 
> After reading this back... I’m so dramatic lmao.
> 
> Pls don’t drink and drive. Seriously.
> 
> Is it MacDonald’s? Or McDonald’s?
> 
> Levi thought Eren was going to leave him, bless his heart :’(
> 
> I’ve never tried champagne, but just imagine Eren really drunk but also super upset and depressed at losing a friend.
> 
> ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON 4 EPISODE 6 SPOILERS
> 
> y’all Levi looks so GOOD. He looks so healthy and strong, I love it. Don’t forget to say THANK YOU MAPPA. And Sasha, Connie, and Jean look so grown, I’m tearing up as a proud mother. I can’t wait to see Armin and Hange. Also, I love Gabi and Pieck. Porco bothers me...a lot.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait :( Time is a social construct that moves in entirely too fast for me :(, but Happy Chapter !

Eren woke to streaks of sunlight dancing in his eyes. For a moment, only for a second, everything felt right: completely wonderful and lighthearted.

But as soon as Eren began to relish that feeling, memories and realization came crashing like a tidal wave. Reiner...Reiner’s betrayal.

Eren groaned as a dull, tense feeling waved across his back, a remnant of when Reiner pushed him against the wall. Eren can still remember Reiner’s hands laced around his own, like cold iron chains, and the crazed look in his eyes when he said he still loves him.

The weight of regret began to settle in Eren’s chest, _‘Why? Why did I even go to see Reiner yesterday? That wasn’t supposed to happen.’_

Eren stared at the sheet beneath him mournfully, he lost a friend. Despite what Reiner did and what he said, Eren had lost someone close to him. Eren’s heart hollowed at the thought. 

During his freshman year, Reiner had been there for everything, and even though that time was short, Eren won’t change it for the world. But now, Eren can’t even think of those memories nostalgically, but scornfully.

_‘It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gone. We would still be friends otherwise. What was I thinking? I must have led him on. It’s all my fault..’_ , tears began to well in his eyes. Eren shuddered a sob to stop himself, believing he didn’t deserve to cry, he didn’t deserve to feel sorry for himself. _‘I should have just gone home.’_

The thought of home fluttered throughout Eren’s being. Eren lifted his eyes at the thought, taking in his surroundings. Sunlight continued to shine through the windows, illuminating the room in a golden light. The room looked beautiful, the room he and Levi shared. 

Subconsciously, Eren turned over to Levi’s side. Instead of softening grey eyes meeting his, emptiness did. Levi had neatly folded the comforter across his side. Only Levi would attempt to make a bed with a person still in it. 

With a burning heart, Eren lifted his arm and draped it over where Levi would be and shuddered another sob. _‘No, I will not cry. I don’t deserve to cry.’_

Eren remembered Levi rescued him because he was, in his opinion, too stupid and too drunk to get home. Eren was sure he looked just about as horrible as he felt, and despite that Levi was caring. _‘I know he must have been worried, wondering where I was or what happened, but he didn’t ask any questions. He just took me home.’_

Eren’s heart would have filled with gratefulness if not for the guilt. Levi had been undoubtedly worried and alone, and he was selfishly and carelessly with Reiner. And despite everything, Levi still came to his rescue when he needed him.

Eren felt sick at the thought. _‘I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve Levi taking care of me. I should be ashamed.’_

Armin’s words rang in his head, _“I know it’ll be hard for you but you need to swallow your pride and tell Levi. It will be better in the long run.”_

Eren grimaced solemnly, if only he had listened to Armin, none of this would have happened.

Eren stared into Levi’s side of the bed, burning holes into the sheets. _‘If I apologize now… would it be too late? After last night, who would want me?’_

He sank deeper into the sheet, his stomach coiling, thoughts consuming him. Eren wishes it would stop, everything to stop just for a moment so he can think. Think of the right words to say, to keep Levi, to be happy again.

_‘What am I going to say? How can I face him? What-’_

“Hey, brat, you up yet?”

Freed from his thoughts, Eren whipped around to see Levi leaning against the doorway, hands crossed. He grimaced as a sharp pain cut through his skull.

Levi stood straight up, “Don’t move so fast, you’re hungover to hell.”

Through a pained expression, Eren watched Levi stroll towards him. In an attempt to seem less sickly, Eren slowly sat up.

Levi stood at the edge of the bed and reached down to lightly tilt Eren’s face up. Not knowing what to expect, Eren blushed, his tongue weighed heavy in his mouth. Levi gave no reaction, grey eyes searching all over his face.

Once satisfied, Levi stood back up straight again, “Good, your face is back to normal. You had some horrible eye bags last night.”

Eren looked down, only managing to say, “Yeah, I bet.”

There was a pause, Eren mentally cursed his inability to think of something to say. He searched for words in the sheets but saw nothing.

Again, Levi broke Eren’s inner turmoil, “So are you gonna stay in bed all day or are you gonna eat breakfast?”

Eren peered up, eyebrows raised, “What?”

Levi scoffed, “I made breakfast. We had cereal and stuff but I figured you’d want something you liked better since you probably feel like shit, so I made French toast.”

Eren blinked and his eyes widened, “Really?” 

Levi’s eyes shifted to the side, “Yeah, it was no big deal.”

With a sliver of pride, Levi turned abruptly towards the door and began walking, “So, you better hurry up and eat before it gets cold. And we still have to pick up your car,” he scoffed, “if it’s still there.”

Still with his back turned, Levi placed a hand on the door frame. When he didn’t hear any movement from behind, Levi turned over his shoulder, “Hey, your ears not working, bra-”

Levi’s words were cut short at the sight, Eren’s head hung low in between his trembling shoulders, tears peppered his pajama bottoms.

“Eren,” Levi muttered making his way back towards Eren.

As he got closer, barely audible sobs and gasps filled his ears.

Levi sat down next to Eren and collected him in his arms. Eren sobs louder as he sinks into Levi’s arms, burying his face deep into Levi’s neck. 

Levi grips his shoulders and holds tight. “It’s okay, Eren,” his usual sharp tone replaced by a softer one.

Eren tightens his grip around his waist, Levi repeats, “It’s okay.”

Eren chokes out a sob, eyes brimming with tears, “No. No, it’s not.”

He lifts his head from Levi’s neck, cheeks red and stained with tears, “I’m sorry, Levi. I’m so sorry, Levi. It’s all my fault,” Eren’s voice increased in volume with each word, “You- You were right about Reiner.”

Eren fell to Levi’s neck again, clutching his shirt with a white knuckle grip.

Two days ago, those were only words Levi wanted to hear, _“You were right.”_ But, now, clutching Eren’s shaking body, feeling every shuttered sob he takes, he didn’t care about being “right”. Not one bit.

Levi brought Eren closer, bodies flushed against each other, and placed his head on top of Eren. “I’m sorry, too,”

“For what?”, Eren breathed in between tears, “You didn’t do anything, it’s my fault.”

Levi tightened his grip, “No, I did. I antagonized you and acted out. I was… jealous, and you didn’t deserve that.”

Levi pushed Eren back, only enough space so he could look at his face. Eren stared at Levi with half-lidded eyes.

“Eren,” Levi breathed, “I’m sorry.”

Eren gave a forceful nod, his headache spiking from the movement, “I’m sorry for getting mad at you too. You were just worried about me, I should have realized that.”

Eren sniffled, a gross action Levi would have usually grimaced at, “Do you forgive me.” Eren’s voice was nasally and unsure, nothing like his usual tone.

Without thinking, Levi answered, “Of course, brat... Do you forgive me?” Levi was glad Eren wasn’t draped across his chest at this moment, he didn’t want him to hear how furiously his heart pounded at the question.

Without thinking, Eren whined, “Yeah,” as he assumed his past position in Levi’s neck.

Levi wasn’t crying, but he’d be lying if his eyes didn’t sting and his heart didn’t pull. Levi released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, ‘Finally, he thought, ‘it’s finally over’.

Several moments passed in silence. With every passing moment, Eren calmed, his hysterical sobs regressing into occasional sniffles, but his grip on Levi’s waist didn’t falter. 

Absentmindedly, Levi smoothed Eren’s hair, relieved and peaceful. 

Well, almost peaceful. As their breathing fell in rhythm, a question tugged at his mind. _‘What happened last night?’_

Levi wanted to ignore, ignore it to relish in the relief of saving their relationship, but he couldn’t. 

Playing in his hair, Levi knew without asking that whatever happened last night made Eren so upset that he broke. And while Levi was glad and grateful, he hated the idea that it was at the expense of Eren getting upset. He wanted to know if Eren was okay. He needed to know.

Levi pulled Eren closer, and whispered, “Eren…”

Eren hummed in acknowledgment. Still debating, Levi whispered into his hair, “Do… Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?” 

There was a pause, a pause long enough for Levi to think Eren didn’t hear him. Just as he was about to repeat himself, Eren nodded and mumbled an apprehensive “Yes.”

Eren lifted from Levi’s grasp and sat up. With only his side profile visible, Levi prepared for the worst. 

Eren hung his head and released a shuddered breath, “Reiner and I… We used to date in college, my freshman year. 

The words shot through Levi, he concealed a grimace as his heart clenched. Not wanting to interrupt the story, Levi bites his tongue to refrain from saying something he’d regret.

Eren continued, “We didn’t date that long because Reiner wanted to drop out of college and go traveling. So…”, Eren steadied his voice, taking on a tone an octave deeper, “...he broke up with me.”

Levi couldn’t help but notice the longing expression in Eren’s eyes, Levi wanted nothing more than to replace it. 

“It hurt and I was embarrassed, so I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. The only one who knows everything is Armin…” Eren takes a breath, “Eventually, I stopped having feelings for him, but it still hurt to think about. So I tried not to.”

Eren twiddled with his fingers absentmindedly, “And when I saw Reiner at the party, he acted like everything was normal like we were just friends, and I thought could handle that because I missed having him as a friend. But…” his fingers stop, trembling softly, “Yesterday, he…”, Eren stopped to chew his bottom lip.

Levi bore into Eren with anticipation, _‘What did he do?’_

“...he kissed me,” Eren breathed. Levi’s eyes widened as his blood ran cold, tensing and ridging every muscle in his body. Levi could only sit and imagine it, that gorilla towering over Eren as he forces a kiss, _‘That bastard… I’ll kill him.’_

Levi’s violent thoughts were interrupted by Eren clutching his pajama bottoms in a white-knuckled grip. Eren gritted his teeth, “And I hated it. I felt weak and stupid like I deserved this or it was all my fault. It probably was. I hate him. I hate him, but I feel bad for hating him because he… he was my friend.” Eren’s shoulders trembled, stuck in a raised position.

Levi stared at Eren, amazed at the fact that Eren could still find a way to sympathize with Reiner and condemn himself. Reiner doesn’t deserve that, he doesn’t deserve Eren.

Levi placed a hand on Eren’s, comforting him to release his grip, “It’s not your fault, Eren.”

Eren looked up with doe eyes, ready to refute what Levi said, but he continued, “Reiner is scum. He’s a shitty bastard that took advantage of you and your kindness. You didn’t do anything wrong, Eren. You…” Levi shifted his eyes, not wanting to say this, “...just missed an old friend, and he took advantage of that.”

Eren nodded solemnly, not truly convinced. Levi locked eyes with Eren, intertwining their fingers, “He didn’t deserve you, Eren, and he doesn’t now. Not back then or ever.” Levi spoke those words with such intensity as if they were law, leaving no room for Eren to deny.

Eren nodded once more, more certainty this time. 

Eren raises his head to face Levi, he sobs “I’m just so sorry, Levi. The reason I didn’t tell you about Reiner is that I wanted to ignore and forget what happened.”

Eren’s bottom lip quivers, “I know I should have told you, especially after Jean’s party. I was just scared of remembering and that…”, Eren releases another sob, one that shakes his whole body, “You’d leave me just like he did.”

Levi tightens his grip about Eren’s hand, “Why would you think that?”

Eren’s eyes shift around the room, never settling on Levi’s face, “Because if you knew that my ex moved halfway across the world because he didn’t want me, you wouldn’t want me anymore either.”

Suddenly, Levi pulls Eren in by his shoulders, not stopping until Eren is flushed against his chest and neck. Eren takes a sharp intake in surprise.

“Eren, listen to me,” Eren could feel the vibration of Levi’s voice against his body as he spoke, “I’m not Reiner. I would never leave you to go traveling or whatever stupid shit. I **want** you. I’m never going to leave you, I love you. And that’s not gonna change, ever. I’ll always love you.”

Levi’s words echoed in Eren's mind, _“I’ll always love you.”, “I’ll always love you.”,_

_“I’ll always love you”._

Eren looked at Levi, eyes storming with tears, “You promise?”, he whined.

Levi pulled back to look at him, “I promise, I love you, Eren,” Levi allowed his lips to curl at the corners and his eyes to soften, “You can’t get rid of me that easy, brat.”

Eren leaped out of his grasp to curl his arms around Levi’s neck. They both fall back into the bed, Levi curses under his breath at the sudden movement as Eren gushes out countless teary-eyed “I love you, too”s and “Thank you”s. 

With Eren leaning down, settled in his lap, Levi smiles peacefully as he cups Eren’s tear-stained cheek. 

Eren, melting into the touch, happily smiles as he says his last, “I love you, Levi.”

Guiding Eren’s face closer to his, Levi breathes, “I love you too, Eren,” as lips find one another for a soft, long-awaited embrace. Hearts finally falling in sync.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the long wait and I think the shortest chapter :’(, Green with Envy is coming to a close soon. The next chapter will be an epilogue :D, gotta love epilogues. Like always , please comment and I will let you know when the next chapter is out :D (Hopefully in a week in a half lol)
> 
> -Thoughts while writing-
> 
> \- why do I hate the beginning now that I’ve reread it
> 
> \- I sacrificed my pride and reputation writing this while in my in-person clases. God forbid someone looked over at my iPad and instead of health and development notes they saw Eren and Levi lmao.
> 
> -it’s funny how I wrote “Eren looks up at Levi” like a bazillion times because they were sitting when 97% of the time Levi will always be the one looking up 
> 
> -I love chapters ending with a kiss but AHHHHHH I’ve been kissed plenty of times and read countless fan fiction since I was 12, HOW DO I NOT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE KISSING BETTER. I am ashamed.
> 
> !!!ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON 4 SPOILERSSSS!!!  
> yelenaaa.... are you looking for a girlfriend because id love to apply, my love :). if you watched the ep you already know what happens, fly high and Rest In Peace, I’ll love you always, now Marco has company :’))). Levi kicking Eren is *chef’s kiss*... he deserved it. Anddddd did anyone else like the tension between Zeke and Levi... I’m obsessed!
> 
> Fanfics I want to recommend
> 
> Lost Cause by mistyhollowdrummer  
> It’s absolutely amazing and gripping, totally worth the long read.
> 
> Thanks for reading :D, y’all’s comments always make me smile :D

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was my first fic in a while, and my first with Attack on Titan. I depression marathoned Attack on Titan two weeks before Season 4 came out. Which I love! And the only way I won’t die from insanity in between episode is if I obsessively read and write Attack on Titan fanfics.
> 
> Sorry if there’s grammar and writing mistakes, My brain runs faster than I read and type.
> 
> This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but ADHD kicked in and I guess this will be a 4 chapter fic, which is fine. Writing makes me happy. 
> 
> I love the headcanons that Jean and Eren are only nice when they’re drunk. And I love Christa being a Queen Bee and Ymir waiting on her hand and foot.
> 
> While Eren&Levi aren’t my main ship (Eremin has my heart), Levi being possessive is something I can write easier, since I relate to Levi more.


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